Just Tell Me You Love Me (COMPLETED)

||JTMYLM 1||

I'm just abusive by nature
Not cause I hate ya
Not cause I wanna get someone to imitate ya
I know it's hard, I know I intimidate ya
But is you staying or going?
I couldn't breathe and you ain't even know it
How come you never show it? All this love you speak of
All I want is to love and be loved
(To love and be loved)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nicki
"Im sick of this shit man! I'm done August!" I marched upstairs and grabbed my suitcase out of my walk in closet and threw it onto the bed and opened it up. I was angry and hurt and I was through with all of August bullshit. I've always been loyal and honest to him but I swear most of the time, his head is just shoved up his ass and he doesn't think about no one but himself. I took most of my clothes out of my closet and laid it in my suitcase and I went back into the closet to grab my shoes until I felt his hand touch my arm. I dropped my shoes and pushed his hand away from me and started to beat on his chest and I sobbed.

"Baby, baby listen to me I'm sorry I just--"

"After all of the bullshit I put up with you, after all of the lies you continue to hurt me! You don't think about nobody but yourself and I'm not going to deal with this shit anymore I just--" I stopped in the middle of my sentence to wipe away my tears while he stood there looking stupid. "I can't keep doing this with you August and I won't. You don't love me the way that I love you and you are too stupid to see that!" I walked out of the closet towards my suitcase but he grabbed my arm again.

"Nicki you know damn well I love you but I'm tired of you doing this shit all the time baby! You always tripping over some bullshit and....man I do love you but--"

"But what? Am I too much for you? D-Does my love and loyalty towards our relationship mean shit to you August?! Let's remember that you were the one who fucked around with other females in these streets and you were the one who constantly lied to me with your bullshit but you know what? After all of it, I still forgave your ass and now you have the audacity to question my loyalty! Are you fucking kidding me? After all of this shit August I can't even begin to explain how hurt I am by you and...I'm just done" I croaked as he rubbed his face while I picked up my suitcase and walked down stairs towards the front door. He didn't even bother to walked behind me as I made my way downstairs and opened the front door slamming it shut.

I felt my heart break into a million pieces as I made my way to my Mercedes Benz and closed the car door after me. I felt more tears stream down my cheek as I started up the engine of my car still looking at the house before pulling out of the drive way. My mind began to rumble at our old memories in high school and the times were I loved and trusted him with all my heart.

Now, I feel like shit thinking that the one I truly loved could now be my worst enemy. I've dealt with being cheated on twice and now for the third time, I feel as if August never loved me.

The amount of love and honesty I've contribute to our relationship does not compare to the amount he's contributed and it hurts me more to think that all these years was nothing to him.

But you know what they say, three strikes and your out and this was his last. I've never thought I would have to break apart from the one I loved but if he's not going to treat me the way I'm suppose to be treated, then I guess for now I won't be looking for no more love from him or anybody else
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
August

I sat on the edge of the couch and finished rolling a blunt. I placed them to the edge of my lips and threw my head back as I blew out the smoke in the air. This was one hell of a morning and since everything that happened, my mind has been running like shit.

Everything that Nicki said was right and I feel so fucking stupid. Ever since high school, Nicki has been down and held me down since then and I still do her wrong. But I gotta admit, back then with her, shit was different and our relationship was better but it's only gotten worse as years went by.

I need Nicki and I want her so bad but shit hasn't been the same as it was before and I know now, I fucked up my chances. This shit was messing with my head and was playing with my emotions.

I took another hit to the blunt and I held it in for a while to let the weed kick in inside of me. After a few more hits, I immediately felt high. I was in fucking cloud 9 as I took more hits from the blunt and I felt like I was in space. I placed my blunt in the ashtray on the glass table and laid myself back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Nicki continued to run through my mind as I laid there staring in mid air and I placed my head in my hands as I thought about the shit I put her through.

"Man.....I fucked up....I fucked up real bad!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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DISCUSSION
How do you personally feel about August after learning his cheating history with Nicki?

Was Nicki wrong for taking him back in the first two times or was she just hoping that eventually he would change for the sake of their relationship?

If you were in Nicki's position, would you have responded the same way Nicki or would you respond differently?

(LEAVE ANSWER IN COMMENTS)