~ Seeing My Mother~
I was done with my free time in the shower and I wrapped a towel around my body while walking out of the bathroom.
I left my clothes in the bedroom.
I heard applause as I opened the bathroom door.
“That was …… wow!” Ryan exclaimed at me. He didn’t seem to mind that I was only in a towel.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
“Your voice. The feeling you put into the music. Everything...” He smiled and walked towards me and engulfed me into a tight hug.
“You know, I have a friend who knows a guy that runs a recording studio in London. I’m sure he’d give you a shot.” Ryan said encouragingly.
“Seriously where were you when my dad beat me? I would’ve been so grateful if you were my father!” I joked.
“I mean it though, I think I’ll talk to my friend about it tomorrow at work, if that’s okay with you?”
I thought about it for a moment.
People are finally going to hear me.
“That would be wonderful, thank you Ryan.” I said and hugged him tighter.
“No problem sweetie. You are very talented and you deserve a break from-“ He looked at my belly.”-You know..” I laughed at him and nodded.
He walked out of the bedroom and sighed, “Why would that have to happen to you of all people?” He murmured.
I honestly have no clue, I thought to myself.
I went over to my pile of clothing which I dropped before the shower and singing session.
I got dressed and I gasped as soon as I turned around.
Standing in front of me was my mother.
I was officially going insane. I thought I was a bit loony earlier but this time I am definitely crazy.
“My baby girl, look at you! You’ve grown so much!” She sang in happiness.
“What the fu-“
“Hey! What did I tell you about swearing? I may be dead but you are still my daughter.” She continued.
“Even with all that your stupid dad has done to you, you still glow! You make me so proud every flying second of the day and I wish I could still be there for you like I used to! I miss you so dearly! You’re my everything and you deserve so much more! You make me more than happy!” She said with joyful tears in her eyes.
I wish I could hug her. I wish she was really there. I wish she was real.
“You’re not real, I’m not really seeing you.” I whispered to myself.
“What? Do I look fake to you? Do I look like the scary monster that used to hide in your closet when you were six?” She giggled at the memory.
“Alright, ma, that monster was real! I saw it with my own two eyes!” I sighed as she laughed at me.
“I miss you mama.” I whispered hoping she wouldn’t disappear.
“I miss you so much you’ll never know, honey. I love you more than I can say.”
“Then why would you leave me with dad? Why would you let me go through everything I went through? I’m pregnant because of you.” I yelled.
She hugged me and I couldn’t feel her. That broke my heart.
“Sh.” She calmed me.
“Baby, it’s not my fault. If it was my choice I would’ve stayed with you forever, trust me! Hun, I didn’t want your father to touch you that way, not once did I think that was okay of him. I was forced to watch you go through everything. I watched you go through hell and it hurt that I couldn’t help you in any way. You know, my death came so fast, I don’t even know the last thing I said to you.” She calmly said.
“Everything is going to be okay.” I finished for her.
“What?” She asked confusedly.
“That was the last thing you said to me, mama. Everything is going to be okay. But then you went away and there wasn’t anything I could do about that but watch as you withered.”
I started to ball.
She lifted her finger and wiped my tears. I couldn’t feel her touch.
“Mama I can’t feel you.” I sobbed helplessly.
“It’s okay, baby. Sh. Calm down. I’m right here, I’ve always been right here.” She said.
I calmed myself a little bit more.
“And you know what?” She began. “What?” I asked.
“People are finally going to hear what you’ve got to say. I’ll always be in the audience cheering you on. I love you.” She said.
“I love you, too. I want you to come back, mama.” I admitted.
“I know, sweetie. Don’t worry, I’ll always be watching over you no matter what. But I have to go.” She whispered.
I shook my head violently. “Don’t leave me, Mama. Please.”
“Want me to tuck you in like old times?” She asked.
I nodded secretly begging.
She walked me over to my bed and pulled the covers over the top of me.
She leant down and kissed my cheek but I couldn’t feel anything. She began to walk away from the bed.
“Mama, will you lay with me?” I asked. I didn’t want her to leave me. Never again.
“Of course.” She walked back to me and got under the covers.
{From eagle eye view} My mother disappears.
After I knew she was gone again I let my sobbing take over once more.
“I love you mama.” I whispered as I started to cry.
After the crying state took over I couldn’t stop.
