A Look Inside a Crazy Mind

Love

Someone asked me what love is.  This is what it is for me.

Love is to have nothing, and then have that someone who becomes your everything.  For me, love is to want with all your heart to protect someone, but you can't. There's nothing you can do when they're so far away. All you can do is hope that they're okay, and trust in their decisions.  It hurts too much to care about someone, but not quite as much to let go.  But you still hold on.  You still bear through all of that pain, all of the heartbreak, because of all the happiness in brings you.  All of that pain is worth it.  Every day I wish I had no feelings.  Every day I regret meeting everyone I care about.  But now I've accepted it.  I love these people.  But it hurts.  It hurts so fucking much and it's killing me but I can't stop.  One day I'm going to lose the people I love.   And my whole world is going to simply shatter.  This is why I have to flourish in the time that I have with them.  To me, love is to hate someone so much, but to protect them with your life.  To be a complete jackass to them, but hold them in a dear place in your heart.  To constantly insult each other, but to lift each other up.  To me, love is a red scarf that I'm going to hold close to me forever.  To willingly do stupid shit on behalf of someone.  To wake up at five in the morning to see the rising sun and feel close to someone.  To force yourself to stay awake to text someone at four in the morning.  To smile every time I see a piece of toast.  To me, this is love.