A L I V E [h.s]

Chapter 4

I talk about how I hate it when people make noise when they're eating or when someone cracks his or her knuckles. I repeat I've never traveled anywhere and he looks surprised. I also tell him about my obsession with the hot chocolate and italian food. I talk about how much I love shopping, specially clothes or new stuff for my room. I tell him about how much I love vanilla esence and he smirks.

- I guess that's all...- I finally conclude.

- Interesting, there are a lot of thing that actually surprised me, like the fact that you've never left this country and I guess you've never been anywhere but London and Bristol.- I shrug and frown my lips.- That's impresive, you don't know what you're missing.

- I'm saving money to go visit Gabrielle in Germany.- I inform.

- That's good. 

- What about you?

- What?

- You haven't talked about yourself yet.

- First of all, I was listening to your...quite boring life and second of all, I thought I annoyed you.- He teases me. Boring? What?

- Why boring?

- Oh come on...you've never traveled anywhere... you're afraid of roller coasters! That's stupid, roller coasters are the best thing in the world! Specially that feeling you get when you go down.- Just the thought of that feeling makes me dizzy.- You said you love to read, that's also quite boring, I mean, you could be watching a movie or hanging out, not reading, this is called 21st century and you are...like eighteen years old? That's what you call living?- He's starting to make me mad, he's half right, I know what I do isn't that exciting, but I love reading and I can't afford to go anywhere right now.

- Well... I'm sorry for being how I am, this is me, Harry, and if you don't like it then I'm sorry.- I repeat his own words and he looks at me.- I'm also sorry for not having any fucking money to leave this country and I'm sorry if I like to read instead of partying or hanging out with the friends I don't have.

- Calm down, Eleanor...

- I'm calmed, I just didn't expect you to insult me after telling you what you asked.- I say.

- I didn't insult you. I was just saying what I thought.

- Well, maybe I don't give a shit of what you think about my life.

I take a deep breath as we keep walking, I really love this place. I'll look for it on my phone when I get home so I can come here more often, this park really helps me to think and relax, it's beutiful.

- Hey.- He says.- I'm sorry if what I said hurt you or something, I didn't expect you to get that ofended. 

- It didn't seem like you were trying to sound nice.

- I know...I'm sorry.- He really confuses me.

We go back to the car, there are twenty minutes left until we're open again.

- Are you still going out this Sturday with me?

- I don't know, Harry, should I?

- Yes.- I take a deep, long breath once again and look out the window without saying anything.- Sorry.- He whispers in a low, raspy tone. I look at him, I'm still quiet.

- Who are you?- I ask. He looks confused.

- What do you mean?

- Now that I think about it... I don't know you and now that I think about it... I don't even know why I told you everything I told you.

- Let the time speak.- His answer stays in my mind the whole afternoon. I'm finally putting my pyjamas on and ready to brush my teeth and hair and go to sleep. I lie down in my bed thinking about everything that has happened today. I feel kind of stupid, I don't know why. Well, basically I've told everything I can tell about myself to a person I barely know, someone who basically has insulted me for being the way I am. Maybe he didn't pretend to be like that, but now I feel pathetic and stupid and I don't know if it's for telling him any of that stuff or because he's right. I really want to live my life and spend it travelling, going out with friends and stuff like that. I'm not used to do such things. My only friend is miles and miles away and only money and time can put us back together. Maybe having Harry in my life is not as bad as I thought, we could hang out and he would introduce me to his friends, I'm sure he has plenty. My life here would get much better having some friends. I don't exactly know who Harry is, all I know is that he had these familiar problems in his childhood and that he's been living here for years with his mom and stepfather. I also know he has a sister and that he doesn't have any specific taste in music. That's all I know about him and I'm not saying that's enough, that's for sure. He's something like a mystery for me right now. I can't wait until Saturday to ask him about himself. If I told everything I could about myself to a stranger, a stranger will tell me everything he can about himself to me.