A L I V E [h.s]

Chapter 17

HARRY'S POV

I listen to her words and somehow I can actually feel what she felt or...feels.

- It felt good, but... it drove me to an awful mistake, I've never told about it to anyone, Harry, so please, don't mention this to my aunt.

- My lips are sealed, I promise.

- When I woke up in the hospital the only thing I felt was pain, physical pain, all my problems were gone.- I think I know what mistake she's talking about and I'm sure I don't want to hear it.- A week passed by, things at school hadn't changed at all. I wouldn't move from my school until next year, you can make yourself an idea of what it was for me. They kept bullying me at school, they didn't give a damn about me, so I started self-harming.- I knew it. Tears start falling from her eyes and I press her hand, caressing it with my thumb.- I hid it from everyone, even from my aunt, I didn't want to hurt her, or Gabrielle and of course I wouldn't tell my classmates about it. It was the best feeling for me in that moment, I didn't know what to do and that was the only way to scape from my problems at school and the thoughts of my parents. It's a feeling that no one can really understand.

- How did you find your way out of that situation?

- I guess I grew up, not just physically, but mentally and I could understand what I had been doing. One of the reasons I knew I had to stop was my father, I din't want to be like him. I started regreting everything I had done. I never told anyone, just you. I had to make my way out by myself, thinking, overthinking about a lot of things and I wouldn't stop until I could see everything the way it really was.

- You're strong, Eleanor.

- I'm not ashamed to say I am. I don't want you to think I'm a weirdo or something.

- That's not what I'm thinking. I think you're strong and I think you really deserve to be happy, I'm here for you, Eleanor. I'll always be. Even though one day you're not in my life anymore, I'll be here for you and to make sure you're happy.- She hugs me tight and I hug her back. She caresses my back with her fingertips.- Just be glad you got your way out of that mess and just think that every single problem has its own resolution, okay?- She nods and I dry her cheeks. I kiss her softly, her lips taste salty because of the tears.- Where do you want to go?

- I guess I just want to go back home.- I smirk and she grabs my arm as we go back to my car. The ride back to her house is silent.

- Do you want me to stay?- She nods quietly and she goes in as I follow her. The weather's not as cold as it was this morning. We both leave the coat on the couch and I keep following her to the room next to the living room, passing through a sliding door. I didn't know this room was here, I saw the door, but I never came in. In the room there's another chimney, a grey, big couch, a big window showing the street behind the house, which is very nice and a black grand piano, which is beautiful. I sit down on the couch as she sits down on the stool in front of the piano. What? She looks at me and then at the piano in front of her. I can only see her face, her hands are hidden by the piano. She gets concentrated as she starts playing The Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky. The sweet sound of the piano fills my senses making my body get goosebumps. I can't stop looking at her biting her lip under concentration and passion. I can imagine in my head the sound of violins playing as she keep playing the piano and makes me feel alive, yet so calm and hypnotized. I stand up and sit next to her. I look at her delicate hands moving along the keys. I close my eyes until the music slowly fades out.- I didn't know you could play.

- I know. I normally play when I'm home alone, my aunt knows I can play, but... I've never showed her.

- Why not?

- This is how I express my feelings, this is how I vent. I don't normally like to play when people are around, feelings need to be free and I think the best moment to let them be free is when I'm alone, you know, no one making you feel observed.

- I like the way you think.- She smiles while caressing the keys with her fingers.- I would like you to play again, not the same song, well, unless you want to play it again.

- Sure.- She starts playing a song I don't know, but it sounds really nice.

- What song is this?- I whisper.

- You've never seen the Howl's Moving Castle?

- No...- She explains it's a japanese cartoon film. The music sounds really nice and relaxing and once more, hypnotizing. I rest my hand on her lap and she puts her thighs together, so my hand is touching both of her thighs. The song slowly ends. I rest my head on her shoulder and she kisses my forehead.- You play very well.

- Do you think so?

- Sure, I loved it, but, why did you play when I was here? You said you normally play when you're alone.- She shrugs and I smile.

- You make me feel...confident.- My smile grows bigger and she caresses the piano keys once again.

- I'm glad I do, and I feel just the same.- She looks at me and I kiss her passionitely. I love her, she knows it, but I'll repeat it as many times as I need just to remind her it's true, no matter what she's done or she will do.