More Than Just a Memory

Chapter 19

I sat in front of our Christmas tree alone late at night on Christmas Eve that year. The kids were in bed asleep and all of Santa's presents were placed under the tree. After all of the chaos that my family had experienced earlier in the year all that I wanted for Christmas was a sense of peace. The little guts twinkled on the tree in front of me and I took my time admiring each of the ornaments. Every single one had a memory connected to it, and I think that was my favorite part of our tree. My eyes settled on my favorite ornament, a small glass couple dancing together. The man is dressed in a tux and he is holding a woman's hand high above her head as she twirls, her wedding dress filling up with air as she spins. On the bottom of the two figures, it has in cursive writing: Our first Christmas. It was a tiny wedding gift that our parents had gotten for us. I always hung it right in front of one of the little tree lights so that the two glass people caught the light and sparkled. I was broken from my reverie by the sound of pattering footsteps coming down the stairwell. I wasn't quite ready to leave my mini haven and face my responsibilities like an actual adult would, so I didn't turn around. The footsteps stopped and I could tell that whoever it was was standing behind the sofa where I sat, watching me watch the tree. Then, they were on the move again and the owner of the footsteps took up a place right next to me.

"Merry Christmas, love," Calum said, slinging his arm over my shoulder, drawing me close, and placing a soft kiss on my crown. Yes, Calum survived death. Eighty-four seconds his body lay lifeless on that hospital bed before he decided that he wasn't ready to leave yet. I can't even fathom putting into words the relief that I felt once I heard his monitor start beeping again. The drama of the whole accident had taken a toll on our family as it was, and we nearly experienced a fatality on top of that. That being said, I believe that God was smiling on my family that day. He gave me my husband back and gifted our family with an opportunity to appreciate ours and each other's lives even more so every day. This is what I thought about when I settled into the crook of Cal's arm and listened to the embers in the fireplace snap, crackle, and pop.

"Merry Christmas, babe," I replied. The two of us sat there in the stillness for a while. I could tell that Calum was contemplating something, I didn't know what, but I didn't prod him. After more moments of silence, he spoke up.

"You know love, you're a fantastic mother. I don't know where our kids would be without you around. And quite honestly, I don't know what I would do if you weren't here by my side. I can't even imagine what it would of be like if I had to raise those two monsters in my own, and you nearly had to." He was getting into an unhappy topic of conversation, and I wanted to avoid the pain so close to Christmas.

"Hun, you don't have to—" I began, but he cut me off.

"No, let me finish here," he said. "That night in the accident, I could have gotten us both killed..." No, no, no, it wasn't your fault. The drunk driver, she was the one to blame. "...but you pulled through for the kids and for us. I would be a liar if I said I would have been able to do the same thing. You are such a brave, intelligent, and outstanding woman and if I had the chance to do it all over, I would choose you every time." He took a deep, shuddering breath, and I rubbed his arm reassuringly. I wasn't quite sure what to tell him because to be fully honest, I was at a loss for words. At that moment, the clock struck midnight, and it was officially Christmas Day. I nearly drifted off to sleep right there, but Calum prodded me up the stairs and under the comforter in our bed. He crawled in next to me and moved himself close, and I floated away into sweet dreams of Christmases past, present, and the many that were to come.

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"Ah, bah humbug!" Michael screamed as he burst through the front door wielding presents for the kids. He set them under the tree and embraced Calum with a force so strong that I thought his lung would cave again. After hearing about the crash, Michael vowed to bring him and his family to spend Christmas with us. It was the first time seeing any of the boys in a while, but we saw Mikey most often. He and his wife, Danielle, had one boy Savannah's age whose name was Gavin. He, just like his father, was a spunky kid with a whole lot of energy. Not to mention that he had already taken up the tradition of vibrantly colored hair. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, I guess. Gavin ran up to me and after a quick hug piped up, "Auntie Liv, Auntie Liv! Guess what? Dad and I have Christmas hair!" Sure enough, Gavin's neon green hair compared with Michael's blood red hair to create quite the electrifying match. I laughed whole heartedly at Gavin's enthusiasm, and with a tousle of his locks, steered him towards the other kids. Danielle and I shared a hug and I helped her move some presents and food from the Clifford family car to their proper places in the house. After a few minutes of general chatter and catch-up time among the parents, I hear Darren call from the family room, "CAN WE OPEN PRESENTS NOW?"

Calum was the first to respond. "NOT TIL I GET IN THERE, YOU COTTON-HEADED NINNYMUGGINS!"

Michael threw in a quick, "YEAH, ME TOO!" before we all drifted into the room where Santa's gold mine rested. The kids tore apart wrapping paper and their eyes gleamed with joy. As I looked around at the smiles on the faces of my family and friends, I realized something: this was the Christmas I had hoped and prayed for.

Thank you, God.

***a/n: hey guys obviously I am in the Christmas spirit and I hope you all are as well! I wish you all the best of luck on your exams; I have only four left! Merry Christmas to all of you and your families, and happy four years of 5SOS (I know that was two weeks ago but I am never one to fight a celebration)! Love you guys and thanks for all of the support. xoxo, Liv***