More Than Just a Memory

Chapter 22

When I sat with Calum in the front pew of the church, I would be a liar if I said it was easy to hold back the tears. One escaped from my eye and it was caught by my husband who wiped it away and squeezed my hand in support.

"We will be okay, hun, we're gonna make it," he whispered to me. "I have to go, but I will be right back." With that, Calum headed out of the back of the church.

I wanted to believe him, but it was hard to imagine my life without my beautiful daughter. I looked around at all of the decorations on the altar. The white lilies were arranged in very graceful and cascading bouquets, and thin white strips of fabric were laced between each cluster. I thought back to the day where Savannah had come into our lives. I was sitting at home watching a Lifetime movie of some sort when I knew it was time to meet our little girl. I called Calum's mother to take me to the hospital since Cal was in the middle of a concert. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital room with droplets of sweat covering my face. The doctor was talking me through the process and one of the nurses stood by my side and let me hold her hand to try and distract from the pain. All of a sudden, the door to my hospital room burst open and there stood my equally sweaty husband, earpiece still dangling next to his jawline.

"I'M HERE!" he screamed. His outburst of noise nearly gave me a heart attack, much to the annoyance of the medical staff. Nevertheless, I was undeniably happy to have him there with me. The nurse closest to me stepped aside and Calum was with me the rest of the day. When Savannah was all cleaned up, her daddy got to hold her first and I can still picture that scene in my mind. They looked so peaceful there, and I just remember smiling while a single tear of pure joy slid down my face.

I was overcome with the same emotion when I heard the gigantic doors at the back of the church open and I saw Savannah standing next to her father in my wedding dress. She told me that she wanted to wear it on her special day, and she simply glowed as she walked down the aisle. Her husband-to-be stood at the altar wearing an expression that every girl dreams of seeing on her wedding day. His name was Nathan Shore, and I couldn't have made a better match for Savannah if I handpicked every quality. He was tall and a balance between lanky and muscular, sandy blonde hair, green eyes, and that surfer-boy Shaka vibe about him (ironically so).

The ceremony was beautiful and brought almost everyone to tears (with the exception of the priest). As you can imagine, with a rockstar as a father, the reception was a total party. When the end of the celebration came, and Calum and I arrived home, I plopped myself down on our big and comfy sofa and shut my eyes. Now both of my children were out in the world, and they didn't need me anymore. Looking back at all of the memories from when they were itty bitty babies all the way up to sending them to orientation day in college almost caused me to lose it. I wanted to just bring them back to me. Back to before the note from Darren, who didn't show up to Savannah's wedding. Back to before I had to watch them become adults right before my eyes. Would it be so much of a hassle to transport all of us back to the pillow fight that one morning so many years ago? I would definitely take a nose bleed over the twinge in my chest right now.

Calum sat down onto the couch next to me and put his arm comfortingly around my shoulder. "Hey now, it's not like my girl to go crying on me," he said. Of course, it was a total lie; he was just trying to raise my spirits.

"I'm just going to miss them so much," I sighed while staring at the floor.

"I know, me too, love. Me too."

We sat there for about half an hour longer, just resting on each other's shoulders, fulfilling our wedding vows from so long ago:

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.