Mixed Signals

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"I just want to be someone, to mean something to anyone..." – Charlotte Eriksson

Lucy's POV

My heart was beating at an unsteady pace, thumping loudly against my chest as I exited his automobile. The anticipation for what was to come next made me anxious, as I toyed with the jewel around my neck.

Did I do the right thing by inviting him back to my apartment? What if this is all a mistake?  What if I'm horrible in bed? Oh, god. I probably am. What if he doesn't want anything to do with me afterwards? He's been with plenty of women. There's no way I can compete.

Harry must have sensed my anxiety because he gently laced his fingers in mine while leading me toward the complex of my apartment building. His smile was every bit reassuring and gave me the extra push I needed to unlock the front doors.

Once we reached the door to my apartment, I began to nervously fiddle with my keys. That aura of confidence I had when we were dancing started to falter as the side effects from the alcohol slowly wore off.

To be honest, I wasn't too sure I wanted to do this anymore. I had grown fond of Harry, but not enough to sleep with him. I know it's one thing to be honest with yourself, and another thing to be honest with the person you trust, but how do I tell him I'm not ready? That it's too soon? I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Hands shaking, I carefully placed the key inside the hole and twisted the silver knob to open the door. The curtains in the living room were completely drawn to reveal a perfect view of the full moon, the sight somewhat calming my nerves. I turned around expecting to see Harry right behind me but frowned when I saw him standing in the hallway exactly where I left him. He was as stiff as a statue.

"You're welcome to come in, you know," I told him while unbuttoning my grey sweater, revealing the lace of my white shirt. High-waisted blue jean shorts met the hem of my top, covering my midriff. They paired well with my blue converse and the jewelry decorating my left hand.

"I-I don't think that's such a good idea..." Harry spoke softly. My eyes immediately shot up to his, and I sent him a confused look.

"What do you mean?"

* * *

Harry's POV

I knew that she wanted to do more than just dance. You could tell by the look of lust reflecting from her eyes. My pupils dilated as I contemplated over what to do. I didn't have much time to think of something, but I made a decision I knew she'd come to be happy with later. I nodded before taking Lucy's hand in mine knowingly and walking toward the boardwalk, sadden by the fact no one tried to stop our departure from the beach.

The drive back to her place was silent and filled with stolen glances. She caught me staring at her more than once and didn't even try to hide the blush darkening her cheeks. A smile played at my lips as I refocused my attention on the road. I can't believe I have her here by my side. I decided to savour the moment while it lasted, for I doubted she'd want to be around me anytime soon after this. The engine switched off as I removed the keys and placed them in my back pocket. I let myself out of the car and watched as she did the same. It wasn't until she looked up at me, however, when my gaze narrowed to her face, taking note of the paler complexion.

In that moment it became quite clear to me that she didn't want to do this, and I wasn't going to try and change her mind either.

I walked around to Lucy's side of the car and laced our fingers together before guiding her towards the apartment building. My encouraging smile proved to be enough to get her to unlock the door and step inside the building. I followed her up the three flights of stairs, dreadful of the part coming next. Her hands trembled as she opened the door, and I literally had to restrain myself from pulling her into my chest for a hug.

What is this girl doing to my head?

Lucy walked inside the apartment and paused in her tracks, distracted by the sight of the moon. I didn't realize I was holding in my breath until I sighed quietly. Agh, Why is  this so bloody difficult? I've turned girls down plenty of times. I froze in place when she turned back around and spotted me standing in the hallway.

"You're welcome to come in, you know," She said to me while unbuttoning her grey cardigan, revealing the lace top adorning her upper half.

The attention the jewel around her neck brought to the valley between her breast caused something in my pants to stir. She looked absolutely stunning, but I couldn't let her be mine tonight. I didn't want to take advantage of Lucy in her intoxicated state. The guilt would have eaten me alive. I just hope she will understand.

"I-I don't think that's such a good idea.." I meant to say it with confidence, but I couldn't stop the crack in my voice from sounding.

Her eyes instantly peered up into mine as she looked at me with confusion.

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked as she walked closer towards the door.

"I just don't think you should do anything you'll regret doing later," I sighed heavily, raking a hand through my curls.

She opened her mouth to speak but was silenced by the sound of my phone vibrating. I pulled it out with a groan to see who had just texted me and saw a picture of Candice open up on my screen. My mouth fell agape as I looked at the image, the bulge in my pants becoming more profound. Damn. It took me quite awhile, but I finally managed to redirect my focus from the half-naked girl lighting up my phone to Lucy whose eyes were drawn to the image with a frown.

Oh fück.

"Lucy, this is not what you think. She was just a-" I started to say.

"Save your breath, Harry. Y-you don't owe me an explanation. I-I...um...I'll see you tomorrow. G-goodnight."

And with that she closed the door closed in my face.

"Lucy!" I yelled, banging my fist against the wood, "Please open the door. I want to explain. Just give me a chance...C'mon, I know you're still there."

Jesus Christ, you're a fücking idiot, Styles. Don't you know how fragile she is? You should have just viewed the damn message later. I mentally cursed at myself before lowering my head down in a sigh. Why does everything I do seem to hurt the people I care about?

A/N

Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. I've been spending a lot of working on Ink. I believed I started Picture Perfect in January of 2014 and I'm not even done writing it. I would definitely like to finish this book before I graduate high school but studying for the SATs has kept me so busy and stressed out (I'm taking it on December 5th and January 23rd).

I could really use a notification telling me one of you lovely readers commented something positive on my story. It would make my night :)

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