Picture Perfect [UNDER REVISION]

Guilt (pt. 3)

-Final Part-

"Well?" Harry asked, encouraging me to provide her with some sort of explanation.

"I-uh-I think hate is a really, really strong word...I don't hate Harry," I finally told Anya before taking a sip from my sprite.

"You don't like him either so what's the difference?" she questioned.

"Yeah, Lucy. What is the difference?" Harry said through gritted teeth.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words dared to leave. Why couldn't I say anything? I wished it was simply because I didn't know how to voice my feelings for Harry, but this questionnaire was starting to seem more and more like an interrogation, and I was afraid. One wrong move was all it took to sink both ships.

I swallowed the big lump in my throat before parting my lips to say, "I-I don't know. It's sort of complicated I guess. Some days we get along, and other days we don't," I shrugged.

Anya looked like she had something more to say about my relationship with Harry, but Louis cut in before she could get one word out.

"Alright, alright. This is getting ridiculous," Louis sighed, rubbing his temple, "You two need to tell her the truth. I can't keep covering up for you guys anymore."

Covering up? How did he even know? Unless...

I widened my eyes. "You told him Harry?!" I shouted in disbelief.

"What?" He spat. "Just because you didn't want to tell your best friend about us didn't mean I couldn't tell mine," Harry scoffed.

"Us? So you and Harry are a thing now? Will either of you please explain to me what's going on?" Anya demanded.

_________________________________________________________

Lucy's POV

2 Hours Later

The four of us never made it to dinner or out of Al's in one piece. A part of my heart disappeared with Harry that night after he left me on the side of the street in tears, and I thought my best friend had came back to collect the missing pieces, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

"I thought we told each other everything, Lucy. H-How could you keep this from me?" Anya's voice cracked as she tore her eyes away from mine.

We drove home in the car silently, and I figured the secret wasn't that big of a deal judging by how calm she looked, but seeing her like this made me rethink everything. I had no idea she'd react this way. I should've told her when I had the chance.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I was scared of what you would think of me if you knew. I never meant to hurt your feelings, Anya. You have to believe that," I pleaded, trying to get her to look at me, but she refused.

"After everything we've been through, you thought I would judge you? Don't you know me at all?!" She exclaimed while flailing around her arms.

If the situation was any less problematic, I would have found her choice of gesture to be comical, but I maintained a serious composure for my sake. This was no time for laughing, and I wasn't about to lose my best friend.

"I don't know what to focus on anymore except for the fact that you obviously don't like Harry. Why did you have to bring up Connor in the conversation?" I frowned. This whole thing started the minute Anya decided to inform Louis and Harry about the way our waiter was supposedly checking me out. She was making a joke out of it, of course, but Harry didn't see it that way. He's still upset with me.

"Are you fucking serious right now? Don't try to flip this on me. If you hadn't lied to everyone in the first place, you wouldn't be in this mess. I don't know who the hell you are, but give me a ring when you find my best friend," Anya spat before storming off into her room.

They were just little white lies. I didn't know things would blow up this big.

All I wanted to do right now was just disappear. Close my eyes and let my mind drift into oblivion. I wanted my very existence to be forgotten by the people I loved because maybe, just maybe, if I hadn't been born, their lives would be a lot better. My baggage is just too much for anyone else to handle. I've gone through these past few years of my life with the mentality of being a victim of rape for so long that I almost forgot of any other way to live until Harry reminded me. He showed me what it was like to live on the edge of the world, and, in the short amount of time that I've known him, has became one of the most important people in my life. Those green eyes were there for me the day I spilled the beans about my situation, yet I stupidly let them slip away over some guy who has never even bothered to call me.

He was right when he told me I wasn't being considerate of his feelings, but there was no way for me to know he felt the way he did- that he could see himself falling in love with me. I made a big mistake, and I have no idea how to fix things when all I feel are guilt and pain. But what I did know was that I was also falling for this boy. Only this time, he'd no longer be there to catch me.

I have to make things right.

(A/N: I know it's been like forever since I updated, but I'm trying really hard to finish this story. I began this story nearly three years ago on onedirectionfanfiction.org but haven't visited that site in ages. I realized I have 34 chapters uploaded on that site and only 16 here, so I will spend these next few days transferring those chapters here. Thank you to those who continue to read this story.)