30 Days Without Him

Day 4

I knew I shouldn't have followed my mother's advice. Who even does that nowadays?

I will tell you how my horrible day went. I arrived twenty minutes late, which is something I really do despise doing, and the whole class stared at me as if I were something fragile that would break into a thousand little pieces.

I am not fragile, and I refuse to be. They do not know anything. The only thing they know is that I used to have a boyfriend who died four days ago.

They have no idea how I am doing, or if I am going to be okay or not. And it is also not like they care. They are just curious vultures dying to get their claws on new gossip. And I hate to say this but I guess I have the spotlight now.

Today in literature I wrote a poem about you, for you.

9 months.

And after writing those two words I had nothing else.

Guess I have always and will always suck at poetry. Which really is a shame seeing as it was your favorite thing to read. I remember I had to fight against Shakespeare and Byron for your undevided attention, and most of the time I lost. Remember our first fight? It was because of that... I was so stupid for starting that fight, but I will never admit it to you. I guess I am stubborn that way.

After Literature I desperatly needed to go to the bathroom. Not to pee or anything like that. I needed some time to myself. And it backfired right in my face.

As I was in the stall, I heard voices outside. Typical girl talk in the bathroom which we are all very familiar with. What I wasn't used to was to hear it about me.

"Poor her, she lost her boyfriend."

"How is she going to get through this?"

"They were so perfect together."

They didn't even fucking know you! They don't even fucking know me!

I was so mad that I left the stall not even bothering to look at them and once I had left the bathroom I ran into no other than Don. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He said my name with a small smile on his face. It disgusted me. My name didn't sound the same rolling off his tongue as it did from yours.

As best as I could I forced a small smile onto my face and pretended to listen to what he was saying. After some time I guess he realized I wasn't listening so he wished me the best and walked away.

I guess I'll need to get used to this.