When people laugh, they are usually happy. But just like laughter, happiness fades.
That huge open smile, slowly turns into a smile. The smile slowly turns into a grin. And eventually the grin goes away, leaving a pure silence. The silence that comes after the storm. When everything is still and gone.
Happiness is just like that. Nobody can be happy forever. It's impossible to do so.
When I asked life what to do... it just laughed and offered me a drink. The laughing part I have already been through. because when you see someone laughing, you laugh with them. It is as if an unknown instinct kicks in, and takes control over you. But it fades.
Now I have reached the drinking part. The nicest way to decline something is to accept it. If you do not understand that then I feel sorry for you. Accept everything life gives you, even if it kills you later. Because afterall, death catches up with us. You can delay it as long as you want to. Look both ways before crossing the road, avoid deserted roads at night, go to doctors, take the proper medications... but eventually your time will come. You are the living proof of that.
So why do we bother doing all of those things? This time I am drinking something lighter, Life isn't trying to get rid of me so soon. It offered me wine. And who doesn't enjoy a glass of wine? Or a whole bottle for the matter?
Truth is, I am scared. Scared of being happy with Ryan. I used to be so happy with you. And look where it got me.
I know Ryan isn't you. And that what you went through, the chances of Ryan also going through with them are minimal. But shit happens to the nicest of people. And that is the worst part of all.
Since you've been gone, my days have been made of small wishes, silent memories, and a huge emptiness. But Ryan turns some of my wishes true, he creats new memories with me, and the hole inside of me seems smaller.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think. The only thing I know is that I love you. And that is something that is never going to fade, no matter what, I love you.
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But is it possible to love more than one person?
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30 Days Without Him
ChickLit▪30 Days Without Him▪ He loved her. She loves him. Join her journey on figuring out who she is without him and how one boy helped her do it. All rights reserved. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
