Nothing Left (Andy Biersack Fic)

Chapter 4 - New Friend

"...What?" The man sitting besides my bed asked, slightly confused. Sad and angry tears well up at my eyes. I was better off just being alone here. Now he has to see me cry. My idol. My musical inspiration. Which was none other then Andy Biersack. It's not like I'm really obsessed with him, not now of all times. He was the least of my worries.

"Why did I have to meet you now? It's not a good time," My voice came out rough, but I managed. He chuckled a bit. 

"Do you know who called the hospital?" He asked me smiling a bit. I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't see anyone, I did hear footsteps and a bunch of yelling. Wait.

Shock overtook my face when I realized he was the one who saved me. He was the reason why I'm still alive. The shock was short lived and was back to sadness. There's no point in being happy about it. Not like I wanna be alive anyway. I guess Andy noticed my expression change. "Are you okay? Do you nee-"

"I'm not okay!" I snapped at him weakly. Surprise took over Andy's features. More tears welled up in my eyes. "You wanna know why I'm not okay? It's because I should be dead! I should be dead like my family! Now I have to live with the memory of their corpses! I have to live with the memory of my little innocent baby sister unable to even realize what happened to her. She was only one! I have to live with the fact that I'm the only one who made it out when I should've died not them!" I yell as tears pour out my eyes. I face my head to the ceiling and cover my eyes with my arms. I can't deal with this. I should've died back there. I should be with my family. Clearing my throat, I say in almost a whisper tone, " Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful that you saved me.  I'm more then grateful for that. It juts should've been me who died, not them. Now I have no one to live for. I have no friends, all my family live in far away states or abroad. what am I supposed to do? "

Silence overtook the room. It was quiet for a while. Almost like he was mulling over what I said. Perhaps he's thinking of what to say out of pity. Not like I care. Any other time, I would've probably died of excitement to meet my idol. Now I don't want to see anyone. Except maybe my family. 

"You have me now," I hear Andy say. I move my arms to look at him sadly. His face was kind and gentle. He really is pitying me. I sigh to myself. I'm not gonna let him treat me like a charity case. "Thanks, but I'm just someone you happened to save. I'm a complete stranger to you. I don't need a sympathetic offer of friendship. Why should you care about me?" 

"If I didn't care about you I wouldn't have come to visit you. I could've dropped you off and went on with my business. I can't just let someone who could've been killed on their own before seeing if their alright first," He said firmly I guess trying to get the message through to me. Which it did, sorta.  I just don't see why he'd waste his time on me, a nobody. I turn my head away. I say, lower then a whisper, "I'm not worth it,"

I feel my head jerk the other way with a hand at my chin. "What are you-" I was cut off to see Andy's angry face closed to mine. I gasp in surprise and felt my face get hot. His breathing speed up to match his suddenly angry mood towards me. Then, with an angry, deep whisper, he said, "You are worth it in every way. Your worth isn't determined by something that wasn't your fault. If anything, the guy who did it is at fault. He is more then at fault. He should be the one who is dead. Anyone who does something to hurt anyone to such a degree is just a scumbag. You had nothing to do with this. The fact that you made it out is incredible and I, personally, am glad you're alive. Don't measure yourself by external factors,"

He let go of my face and stood back up. I laid there and let his words sink in. But how was it not my fault? If I could've stopped him, this all wouldn't have happened. I could've saved Layiya. I could've done something. Instead, I hid and worried for my own life. I mean, I was just so useless. I didn't even think to call the police cause I was so stupid. But, How would I have known he was coming? He came out of nowhere. It was so unexpected. So maybe, it wasn't my fault. I still put myself in fault, just not entirely. 

"hey," Andy called gently. His face was back to being gentle again too. "It's alright to reach out and talk to people if you need it. It's not a bad or cowardly thing. If anything, it's brave," He turned his head to the side away from mine and scratched the back of his head. "Also, I want to be your friend. I'm not doing this out of sympathy or anything like that. I genuinely want to be friends,"

I felt my cheeks burn up a bit. He wants to be my friend? I've never really had a friend before, unless you count the fake ones. "We can try to be friends...," I said meekly. "I don't really know much about being a friend or a good one, but I can try at least,"

Andy's face lit up and he smiled wide. He looks genuinely happy to want to be my friend. I find myself smiling a bit. But that, like the shock, was short lived. It was nice while it lasted. "You want to exchange phone numbers?" Andy asked. I don't think I have my phone on me. It might have been put away for later by the hospital or still at my house. An unpleasant shiver went down my spine. Even thinking about the house is enough to remind me of the horrible events. With a sigh, I said, "I don't have my phone with me. I don't know if I lost it or not,"

"I guess I'll just write it down for you. When you get out, you can call me," He said, taking a napkin from the stand near me and writing down his phone number. "There you go. And please, don't give my phone number around, there's too many fans that would love to get a hold of that," He said with a smirk.

He started to move towards the door when I said, "Wait!" 

Turning around to meet my eyes, he waited for what I wanted to say. I suddenly felt a little awkward. I never asked anyone this, partially cause I haven't been to the hospital much, or had a friend. "Can you come see me again? While I'm still here, I mean?" I asked a bit meekly.

His smirk turned into a smile hearing me say that. I looked down at my sheets embarrassed, waiting for an answer. He walked back over to my bed and gave my head a little pat. I looked up at him in confusion. Was I just pat? 

He chuckled at my reaction and said, "I'd love to come visit again,"