Only a Dream

Chapter 11

Taylor's Pov

The next morning we woke up and everyone in the house was still sleeping so I decided to get up and make some breakfast. I decided on chocolate chip pancakes, bacon and some eggs. The house soon filled with a delicious aroma and Mikey came running down the stairs, he tripped on the last few, causing me to laugh a little.

"Are you making bacon!?" He was so excited that he forgot he tripped.

"Yes, and chocolate chip pancakes and eggs." I giggled at his excitement.

"You are the best girlfriend ever!! I love you so much!" He ran over and kissed my cheek.

I laughed again, "I love you too."

Eventually my parents came into the kitchen, "It's nice to wake up to the smell of delicious food, what are you making honey?" My mom asked, still clearly sleepy.

"Bacon, eggs, and chocolate chip pancakes. It's almost ready I just have to finish making the orange juice, unless you guys want coffee?"

"Well your mom and I can't function without our coffee." My dad said laughing and Mikey joined in.

"You know how I am without coffee babe."

I rolled my eyes, "Yes I do, you get so cranky!" My family laughed.

I've never been to fond of coffee, it makes me feel anxious. I made some orange juice for myself and finished plating the food. Mikey helped me bring the plates out to the table, and everyone thanked me for making breakfast.

"So Mikey and I are going to drive to his house and stay there for a few days, then we'll come back and spend the rest of the week here. Then it's back off to tour!"

"Okay sweetie, just be safe. Who's driving?" My mom asked.

"Mikey's gonna drive there since I don't know where his house is, and I'll drive back."

My parents nodded in agreement. "How has everything been. You know with your dreams?" my mom asked and Mikey looked at me with a confused look. I looked down at my food kind of embarrassed, I hadn't told Mikey about my "Overactive imagination". 

"Um, I actually haven't really had an episode since that day in California when we had the meeting about the tour." I was still looking down, not wanting to see how Mikey was reacting to this.

"Oh that's great honey! Maybe everything is finally getting better."

"Ya hopefully, maybe sleeping in the same room as three other people is helping." my mom nodded in response, I finally looked up and Mikey was still looking at me very confused.

"Taylor, what are you talking about?" shit.

"Well, um. I don't really know what to call it, but the doctors tell me it's just an overactive imagination. When I have dreams, they don't feel like dreams. It's like there is no distinction between dreams and real life, until I wake up. It used to be a lot worse, just imagine my nightmares. I could never tell if they were real."

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Mikey asked still clearly confused.

"I don't really know, it didn't seem important at the time, and I haven't had an episode since I've been on tour. I think it's because I'm with you." I looked down blushing, but I caught a glimpse of Mikey's smile.

"Well I'm glad you finally told me. I've got a lot of questions, but I'm assuming that you don't really want to talk about it so I'll keep them to myself."

I laughed a little, "Ask away."

Mikey and I had a nice conversation about my "condition." I don't even know what to call it anymore. I've gotten so used to it that I don't make a big deal about it anymore, which is why I forgot to tell Mikey. I was just a little embarrassed that I forgot to tell him.

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An hour later Mikey and I were on the road. Conversation died down and we were both enjoying the music, and I was writing in a journal I always kept with me, just incase an idea hit me. I write a lot and I'm always getting new ideas but if I wait too long I'll forget, so I started carrying a journal with me all the time. I was trying to write something cute for Mikey just because I could, but I literally couldn't. 

He's the type of person you'd write a book about. I'd take the first three chapters to describe the way his touch sets my skin on fire. I'd put him into words if she could, but beautiful has never been enough, special didn't even touch on his spectrum. "I love you" always felt too small and the silence for the words I never have was always too big.

Twenty-six letters and over a million words and I can't find a single word that sounds right to my ears when they leave my mouth and escape into his. How can something as simple as a commonplace word, as meaningless as a letter even begin to describe him? There has to be a word for it, in this language or another, in one that has yet to live, or in one that already died. I just can't find the words to describe him.

They ask me what he's like and I'll fall silent every time. How am I supposed to describe the way his fingerprints are the only thing I want to wear on my skin. How I see all of my dreams hanging on the tips of his eyelashes, and how I make a wish on every shooting star I see in his eyes.

I'm a writer without words, a poet with more spaces than stanzas. Words were all I've ever had, the only thing that was ever my own. What I chose to let through my lips and what I leave hanging in the air. I only ever had my words written in a scrambled journal and lost in the chatter of an egocentric world. Now, I've lost that too. I've lost the most important thing I've ever had, but now I have Mikey.

He steals my words right out of my open lips when he presses them to mine, breathing them out so that I don't even have the word "speechless" when he's done. He wipes it away from my skin with his touch, and turns the ink in my veins into blood that I feel rushing to my cheeks when the warmth teaches me the meaning of love. I always hated that word, but Mikey made it beautiful. He's taken away the four-letter cliché and created something more than just the make-believe of aimless dreamers.

He's taken all the words I've ever had and given it a meaning that no reader but myself could ever have. The page is empty, and I've been trying to write something for him ever since we met. It's been an eternal writer's block and it makes me look like a fool. He's my everything, but I have nothing for him. I've lost my words, he's the only one that's ever left me speechless. He's my muse, and my block, he's my silence and my speech. I don't have the words but I have him, and that's all I need to create something beautiful.

I found myself staring at him, entranced by his beauty, he noticed me looking and laughed a little.

"Like what you see?" He smirked.

"No," He looked shocked "I love what I see, because I love you." I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

He let out a small laugh, "I love you too Taylor."