Dear Bailey

Part 47

Lucas

I shut down the computer, but I couldn't shut down my thoughts. She was all consuming. She had my attention, my thoughts and every ounce of my desire. I had to get my hands on her. I wanted everything we'd talked about. But I also wanted more. I wanted to feel her head on my chest. I wanted to feel her tucked up against my side as she slept, and most of all I wanted to wake up with her in the morning.

It was all new to me. I'd never wanted a girl to stay around. My life had always been complicated. Hitting puberty right around the time my mom got sick did not set me up for a lot of time and opportunity to build anything with anyone. I was tired and taking care of my mom. I couldn't have a girl spend the night under my grandmother's roof with my mom so sick down the hall.

That's not to say I didn't have my fun. I had, and I'd needed it. So much stress at home left a lot of energy to release other places. I was respectful and careful, but not available. It seemed like maybe the stars were aligning, or my world was finally calming down enough to focus on having a girlfriend. Of course, I would choose one that I couldn't have with me.

I looked up at the ceiling knowing that I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. There was only so much that a cold shower could take care of. It could cool my skin, but not my thoughts. I needed to try to think of something else. I closed my eyes and thought about my leave and when I could possibly take some of it. I knew it was going to be crazy to try to get time off over the holidays, but at the same time I thought that might be when I'd have the best luck.

The next day I walked into the shop with a purpose. I was going to find some time to spend with Bailey come hell or high water. I'd sacrificed a lot in my past, and I'd be damned if I was going to sacrifice a shot with her. My leave was approved by lunch break.

Pines sat at the cafeteria-style table with me and ate his lunch. When there wasn't much work to be done we always slipped away to get something hot from the cafeteria. "So, saw you were gonna get leave," he drawled in his southern accent. "Where ya goin'?"

I finished chewing my macaroni. "California."

He nodded his head and then took another bite. He was the first friend I'd made when I was stationed here almost a year ago. We talked a lot at work so he pretty much knew everything about me. "Finally going to see Bailey for longer than an hour?"

"That's the plan," I said. I tried not to smile, but I failed.

"Fucking took you long enough. It's like fucking torture hearing about that shit. I don't know why you didn't make it happen before now." He scooped another big bite into his mouth. He could put that macaroni down, which was impressive since he was smaller than I was.

"I used up all my leave handling shit. My brother's shit and then hiring people to take care of my grandma. I finally got a little in the bank. Now I'm going to spend it going to see her."

"Good for you. How much time are you taking?"

"5 days."

Pines nodded his head. "I hope you put in for it soon."

"December. I know we have that training coming up in October. People are going to be gone for Thanksgiving. December just seemed like a good time for the shop." I watch his face grow serious.

"There's talk ya know." He stopped eating for a second to watch my expression.

"We aren't going anywhere yet. Last I heard it will be beginning of next year at the soonest." There had been talk about us being shipped over to the Sandbox, but there was nothing set in stone yet.

He chuckled and shook his head. Pointing his plastic fork at me he said, "You two have the worst luck of any couple I've ever heard of." He set his fork down in his tray. "If you have plans to see her in December," he turned and moved one leg out from under the table, "then I'm gonna go pack my shit cuz we're going over before then." He got up and left the table, tossing his tray into the trash on the way out. 

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