Sara's Trilemma

The Butterflies

My mouth opened and then closed in response. The words were in my mouth, but unable to make any sound of it. I wanted to tell him that it was not okay for him to touch my hand when we were alone in his apartment. So many things could go wrong. But it was as if my brain was shut off along with my ability to speak.

Then I felt him leaning towards me. Was it my imagination? Hallucinations? Suddenly I felt his breath on my face, yes he was indeed very close to me. What was he planning? I mean, it's not fair. Or was it fair?

Finally, I closed my eyes, it was better this way. Now I could think straight. Still, no damn thing was coming in my mind. Then there was a touch on my lips, so soft, so divine, so meant to be. And as if the world had stopped spinning, the time itself stopped, I let it go, drinking in his lips, the warm breath and insane scent. His mouth expertly moved over mine, demanding yet giving more. My breath was already uneven with anticipation with pleasure he was bestowing on me. I couldn't remember how much time passed between us.

Later, when he pulled away, it broke the spell. I was back to the present. My eyes snapped open. I was shocked and confused. No. He is not my type. I touched my lips, it felt funny and different.

His mouth opened in response, but I stood up abruptly and walked towards the window. The Arabian Sea was calm, it was low tide. There were twinkling lights far off the horizon where the sea met the sky. The ships sailed through the peaceful wind.

I grimaced. Inside me was a storm, my internal storm. How could I allow him to kiss me? It could never end the right way. I never intended to do that, when I knew that we were the world apart. Actually no. We were way too similar for that matter. That's why we couldn't stand each other. Yet there was an undeniable attraction I felt towards him. Maybe because he was a good looking man, who knew the effect he had on women.

"I am sorry," he whispered from somewhere behind me.

I turned and faced him. "That's convenient, isn't it? First, you kiss me and then apologize?" I nagged, narrowing my eyes. He regarded me in disbelieve. "Oh, that's right. I can actually talk straight!"

"Alright!" he threw his hands in the air in surrender. "I made a mistake. But I can't promise that it won't happen again. Since you will not be able to resist me much longer. I will never be hard on you!" There was his arrogant and cocky self back again.

I gave him an intense stare, wanting to burn a hole in his heart. But probably my power was not working, that man still had amusement dancing in his eyes. It was really annoying the way that he was managing his smirk, the playful eyes and still look that breath-taking. "You have to behave. Or else I am outta here," I croaked, taking measured breaths and finally averted my eyes from his face.

"I am sorry. I got carried away. It won't happen again, I promise." he paused and then murmured "not until you want me to." Before I could react to that, he walked away towards the Kitchen. "What do you want to have? Another drink?" he asked. The slight limping did not hide the way his jeans clung to his assets.

"I don't want anything. And I think it's better if you stay put in one place. You are limping," I said. But he ignored and kept browsing the refrigerator. "By the way where is your dog?" I asked, suddenly remembering our first conversation.

"Well, Johnny is not here, he is in DC." His back was on me.

"Oh. You have a nice place for an assistant Editor level," I commented looking around. It was a simplest of interiors, yet the earthy colours gave it a rich look. There was no way one could have such a salary that could afford such a penthouse. His parents probably were rich.

"It's Rishi's place. I am living here till they find replacement for the post," he mentioned taking out a juice box, and pouring the orange juice in two beautifully carved goblets.