Sara's Trilemma

Damaged Without Repair

Live chat in Messenger box:

Sara: Are you awake? 12:23am

Siddharth: You woke me. 12:26am

Sara: Why didn't you come for the Strategic meet at JP office? 12:26am

Siddharth: I took a leave. 12:27am

Sara: Why? Are you okay? 12:27am

Siddharth: What's with the interrogation? 12:27am

Sara: Nothing. I am just asking you if you are okay. 12:29am

Siddharth: I am okay. Thanks for asking! What is it? 12:30am

Sara: there is a change of plans. 12:33am

Siddharth: What plans? 12:33am

Sara: Come on, Sid! You know plans for tomorrow. 12:34am

Siddharth: hmm. 12:34am

Sara: What's the matter? Are you upset? 12:34am

Siddharth: Don't act like you care about me, Sara! 12:35am

Sara: Well, you are acting strangely. You didn't come to the office and you are indifferent. I am only concerned. 12:35am

Siddharth: I am fine. What change of plans? 12:39am

Sara: We have to go to Viraj's Parents farm house. It's in Lonavala. 12:40am

Siddharth: Aren't you going to ask me? 12:40am

Sara: What for? 12:41am

Siddharth: You are such a snobbish girl. You take me for granted! 12:41 am

Sara: Sorry! Will you still be coming with me? 12:41am

Siddharth: Only because you asked me nicely! 12:43am

I smiled goofily at his idiotic behaviour. I grazed the screen of the phone, Sid smiled back at me with subtle lines of I-own-the-world look. Then again, his indifference was in a way hurting me. I wished suddenly to go back to the time when we just met. Maybe, I could have done something to change his opinion of me. Why did it bother me so much? Did I not hate his guts in the first place?

Come on Sara! Remember those arrogant things about him! I remembered the first date, he saving me from falling on the steps of the restaurant. 'It's a pity that you are such hard headed woman. Or I would have kissed you by now!' Big ass of a man! Then my mind fleeted to, him sitting close to me on the double date with Rishi and Tanya. Really? Do you want me to bite you? I have good set of skills in that area.

Fish! Why am I blushing like an idiot? Still, I was not able to stop there, a scene long buried in the corner of my heart, resurfaced in front of my open eyes. Sid kissing me on my lips, so softly and gently like he was worshipping me. It had felt so damn good. If his gentle kiss was this good, how would his hot and demanding kiss would feel like? Shit! It was not helping. Instead of hating him, here I was, fantasizing about his kiss.

I groaned and buried my head in the pillow, punched it a couple of times. Stupid girl! Stop thinking! Stop thinking about him. Think about Kush!

"I am going insane!"

*

Kush raised his brow when I came back from the shower with a towel wrapped around me. He had settled himself on his bed with his legs extended in front of him. Tanya too whistled from where she was sitting on a table with the latest issue of Purple in her hand. Lately, she was practically away the whole day. But today she apparently didn't have any plan, saying Rishi was busy somewhere else.

"I couldn't decide on a dress!" I answered to their inquisitive glances.

"What is to decide? Pick up casual jeans and a nice long Kurti!" Kush reacted, while his hands on the back of his head. The possessive boyfriend was finally out in the open!

"Come on Kush! She can't just wear anything. She now works with Anamika. She has to maintain her standards." Tanya jumped up with determination.

"It's not like she is going to an event! It's a casual dinner. And it's better to not to give her Ex any ideas! Anyway, that fellow is not acting like a man who will soon get married!" Kush commented, grimly.

"Don't worry Kush! Viraj is not the person she is concerned about!" Tanya smirked. That got her a warning stare from me.

"You both stop. Here," I gestured picking up Blue knee-length dress with cap sleeves and grey sneakers. "This is casual."

Kush sighed and averted his gaze outside the window. But when I came back wearing it, he looked happy with it. It was covering most of the portions. Plus the layers on the skirts gave it a fuller look.

I picked up my bag and cell phone, and waved them off, saying that I would be back by before midnight. After taking in his tight smile, I ran downstairs and waited for Sid in front of the gate of the building.

I shifted my weight from one leg to another, even with the sneakers it was hard for anybody to stand, idiotically, on a footpath, waiting like forever. Maybe not forever, only eleven minutes and sixteen seconds to be precise. Okay, maybe, it was the nervousness of seeing either Viraj or Sid was making me impatient. Every second passed with a great difficulty. Fine, I accept! It was seeing Sid after almost a week making me sweat my palms. It was a mixture of all kinds of emotions, anger, longing, apprehension of his mood, and love?

Whoa! No! No...no...No! I was just about to scold my wayward mind, Audi SUV skidded to stop before me.

Through the tinted glass, I couldn't see him just then. That made me run forward to the passenger door of the car and open it with impatience.

Sid held the steering wheel and looked sideways at me, in his blue and red checked shirt and faded jeans. The scene instantly captured in my mind and was immediately stored in most forbidden recesses of my heart. Holy Moly! I love Siddharth Kashyap so freaking much!

I love you, you stupid man! I love you... Oh, my god! I love you, Sid! Don't you realize I am so in love with you! Ohkay. Why does he have a question mark on his forehead? Am I looking like a clown? Oh, my god, he doesn't find me attractive. We used to have something, that's what he said, a few weeks ago! And now he looking at me like I am a clown! You are completely screwed, Ms. Anand! Damaged without repair!

"Sara!" His voice bellowed as he leaned to reach me.

"Huh?" I mumbled, finally coming back to the moment.

"What are you doing standing there?" he asked. "Get in. You are holding up the traffic!"

Quickly, I moved in and settled on the seat beside him. I looked at the road with an apparent blank mind. What just happened?

**Here comes Sara's confession to herself. You will not stop now... Meanwhile keep the votes coming!**