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Chapter Four

Alyss was laying in her bed later that night in complete darkness, reliving every single time her dad had ever hit her.

It all started after her mother died. He had not come home after the funeral, leaving thirteen-year-old Alyss alone at home with the pain of losing her mom and being the first to find her there, laying in the tub, blood dying the water a deep, sanguine mockery of crimson...

Alice tried not to focus on that.

Her dad had left her there, young and alone with all of that pain just to go to the bar. How could he?

Alyss looked down at her wrist -- to the scars that carved a pattern through her skin. "That was the first night I tried it," she said to herself. "That was the night I picked up the razor for the first time."

"Maybe there's something here I'm missing. Maybe just one cut won't kill me," she thought. "I just want to feel something -- anything, even if it means pain."

Alyss drug the blade softly across her skin, feeling the gentle kiss of sharp metal splitting skin, opening her blood vessels so that the blue fluids inside of them could breathe and shine that beautiful crimson that she saw not to long ago covering the bathroom floor.

Alyss shook her head. "No. No, no, no. I don't need to think about this. I don't need to go there again."

The door downstairs closed. "Laurel! Aly-bear! I'm home!" she heard her dad call, clearly slurring his words. Alyss started crying again when she heard her mom's name come out of the drunkard's mouth. He wasn't allowed to say that name anymore! No one was. Especially not if they're drunk!

"Oh, god," Alyss heard her dad start to sob as he obviously, albeit drunkenly, figured out that:
1. His wife is dead
2. He failed at being both a husband and a father.

"That poor fuck. He really loved mom. Probably because they were both assholes. He still is. They made a good match."

The door to Alyss's room opened slowly.

"Hey, Aly." Her dad stumbled in and sat down next to her on her bed.

"Oh... Hey, dad," she said, trying to ignore the overwhelming scent of alcohol radiating from the man that she hardly knew anymore.

"Look. I'm sorry for what happened with your mother. I know you loved her. I know I did, but we need to learn to live without her or we'll die with her."

"Oh," Alyss mumbled, trying to ignore how horrible it was that he was saying those things right after her mother had been lowered into the ground.

"Just know I'll always be here for you. I just hope you'll get out of this 'lesbian' phase soon. I don't know how much more I can take of this."

"Dad, stop," she warned.

He grabbled her hand. "I'm sorry. It's just that --" he stopped as he looked down at Alyss's forearm. "Is that -- what the fuck!? Are you trying to end up like Laurel? Are you fucking stupid? First this 'lesbian' shit and now this?"

"I -- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to --" Alyss receded and curled up against her headboard.

"You know what? Fine. I don't care. Kill yourself. You deserve it. You're the one who killed Laurel."

Alyss started sobbing as she buried her face in her arms.

"Oh, just shut the fuck up already, you fucking slut!" at that, he slammed the back of his hand into the side of her head, knocking her onto her side, and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Alyss's phone vibrated, so she picked it up to check it.

Alana: Hey...I hope I didn't get you into too much shit back there...that was intense. :( Are you alright?
Alyss: I'm fine. John is just an asshole. Don't worry about it. It's his problem. Not ours. Not for long, anyway. One more year and we're out, right?
Alana: Right. I'm gonna save you from there as soon as legally possible.
Alyss: Mmm...does it have to be legal? I wouldn't mind you kidnapping me. (; You can keep me in your closet and just feed me the scraps off of your dinner plate.
Alana: Believe me honey, you'd be getting more than scraps. Both of my parents are cool with me dating girls. You wouldn't have to hide in my closet xD
Alyss: Sounds tempting. Too bad you're only up for 'legal' options. (;
Alana: Only for your wellbeing, baby.
Alyss: If only you knew about the state of my wellbeing right now...:(
Alana: No! He didn't hurt you, did he?
Alyss: Not any more than usual...
Alana: I will KILL that son of a bitch! >:(
Alyss: Baby, no. Please. It's fine. I'm used to it. Don't worry about it.
Alana: No one hurts my baby girl! Did he leave a mark?
Alyss: ...
Alana: I asked you a question.
Alyss: It's just a black eye. Nothing bad. I'll just wear extra makeup to cover it up.
Alana: He's got to pay for this. There's no way in hell I'm just going to let this go.
Alyss: I understand... Just don't do anything. If it happens again, I'll handle it myself.
Alana: ...promise?...
Alyss: I promise, babe. I'm tired of being hit as well. Don't worry about it. I have it covered.
Alana: Okay...So who was that Danielle Gothard chick that blonde bitch was talking about?
Alyss: Oh, she's this girl I used to know. She's bi. We kinda fell apart after this one incident...
Alana: What happened?
Alyss: She got the shit beat out of her...I saw it but I was too scared to do anything about it. So she hates me now. Understandable...
Alana: Hold on...I found her in one of Eric's old yearbooks he gave me to help me remember names.
Alyss: ...
Alana: She's so pretty! Omg!
Alyss: Yeah...she is...
Alana: Babe...Cheer up. You're much prettier! And there was nothing you could have done about it. Shit happens the way it's supposed to happen no matter what. Like Us. We were meant to happen <3
Alyss: Mmm...why are you always right?
Alana: That's me! Your 'Ms. Right' (:
Alyss: Lol Okay. You got me there. Look, babe. I'm tired. Text me when you wake?
Alana: Of course, babe. I love you. Good night (:
Alyss: Good night, beautiful (:

Alyss lay her phone on her night stand and mentally dove into a deep sleep.