Fly Away (Michael Jackson)

twenty one

Bonnie's POV

I hate myself. What was wrong with me? He was trying so hard to apologize, and I kept shutting him down and pushing him away. My emotions got ahold of me when he was here, and I just kept telling myself:

'Don't do it. Don't cave in and forgive'

But that was wrong of me. I need to forgive and forget.

I think he's gone now. He slammed the door and I heard him running. What the hell is wrong with me, seriously? If I ran out to chase him, he'd be too far off for me to catch up to him. I missed him already.

His kisses.

His hugs.

His eyes.

His smile.

His words.

His love for everything.

Him.

I can't believe that I just let him get away. Then it hit me; I slapped him.

Oh my Dear Lord... I SLAPPED HIM!

MICHAEL I AM SO SORRY! I TAKE IT BACK!

'He can't hear you now,' my mind told me.

'Oh shut up,' I responded.

I can't believe myself! I slapped him when he tried to show love and affection to me. I screamed a scream of pain into my pillow and cried my eyes out. I wanted to hurt myself for hurting him. I can't...I just...I don't want to be alone. Again. He was my only person left. My only security, and love. I have no family left to go to. What was I planning on doing? Leaving and moving into a hotel?

Yeah, no.

Go back to my abusive ex-boyfriend? Never in a million years.

I had no where to go. My only place to go, was rudely shoved away by my selfish self. I just, feel like a total brat that was taking everything good in my life for granted. I needed Michael. My reason to be on the planet.

When my parents passed, I was in a depression, and almost killed myself. Michael's letters kept me alive. I used to think, 'Why do I need to be here anyway?'

Everyone else besides my Aunt Ayda abandoned me and my parents. Then Aunt Ayda died. Which left me, my mom, and my dad alone. Years later, my parents went out for milk one rainy day, and lost control of the car. I found out that they hit a tree, and my life ended along with theirs.

I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to join Ayda and my parents. Before I decided my fate, I did everything that I would regularly do, and cherished every moment; because it would be my last.

I ate my last meal, sang my last song, did my last laundry load, and then took out my last mail letters. And then, I found one letter from Michael. I sent him a letter right after my parents died, telling him what happened, and what I was going to do. He never sent letters this fast, and I didn't expect him to, he was a busy person. But when I got this letter the next week, I knew he wanted me to read this. I opened it and it said:

"BONNIE. LISTEN TO ME.

You are not alone. You never will be. I am here with you. And I always will be.

Don't you dare do anything to yourself! You hear me?! Do not, or I will too! And I will make that a promise! You go down, and so will I. Do you want to kill us both? You're my bestfriend, one that I'll take a bullet or knife for. Don't you dare hurt yourself?! You hear me?!