Fly Away (Michael Jackson)

ten

I woke up early and began packing. Luckily I'd only stayed a night, and didn't have to pack much. Everyone was asleep and in this huge mansion, I was just one wrong step away from waking everyone up due to a traveling echo. I crept quietly into the bathroom to change into another outfit for the day, brush my teeth and leave.

Jermaine's talk with me practically kept me up the entire night. My stomach ached with discomfort. That feeling of being out of place; like I don't belong. That feeling where I know where I should be right now, but instead I'm far from home and it's taking its toll on me. The feeling keeping me up for hours without a single wink of sleep.

I had to turn the faucet on low, to prevent any kind of noise; thus making my quick bathroom trip, a slow one. I sadly brushed away my teeth, still feeling like a severe case of being the odd ball out, almost as if I wasn't welcomed, and only stayed because they felt bad kicking me out on the streets. It truly is one of the worst things your mind can experience.

Shutting the water off and zipping my pants up, I quickly grabbed my bag and opened the door. With a slight bounce against the doorframe, the door shut quietly enough to allow me down stairs without a peep. As I came to the last step, I swung around the stairwell to grab my bag from the loft when I hit something very hard. I look up and it's Michael, in a bathrobe. He's shocked to see me up so early.

"Bonnie?" he asked as he pulled me up by the hand. What could I do? Knowing him, telling the truth would crush him. I couldn't think of an excuse and just kept silent. He looked at my attire and glanced back up at me, "It's 4:30 in the morning, where are you going?"

I walked past him and packed my pajamas and toothbrush, "You have an early day tomorrow, you should be sleeping."

He saw what I was doing and rushed over to me, "What's happening, where are you going?" he asked with a frantic whisper.

It hurt me that I had to do this, but if I didn't I may die inside. "Michael, I just -" I paused. I couldn't explain that my feelings for him make me feel unwelcome. It was more of a feeling as if I was excited to come along with him, and be his right hand; but he already has one and she's gorgeous, sweet, talented... I could go on. I don't qualify and don't want break something with potential to fulfill my own desires.

"You just what? What is it, who is it?" He was persistent now.

I sighed, "I just feel like I am unwelcome here."

He took my hand and stopped me from packing any further, "That is not true, we love you, you know that."

You don't. I said to myself. The way he grabbed my hand, almost had me weak. It was so gently held to where I feel comfortable, but firm enough to show my importance. I looked up at him, and gave a gentle smile, "It's your family's week, I can't be here. as an intrusion-"

He scoffed, "You are family, stop talking nonsense, Bonnie."

Now it's time. "Wouldn't your girlfriend be upset with you?"

Michael let go of my hand. His face filled with confusion. "My what?"

This isn't good... what did I do?

I regained my balance, grabbed my bag and let out a defeated sigh, looking to the floor as I walk over to the couch and slump into the seat, "Jermaine and I talked yesterday. He said Tatum was your girlfriend, and that he hasn't seen her around since I've been around. And I just couldn't feel right being the other girl when you already have someone to call your own-"

Now he knew what I was talking about. A little chuckle came out from a big smile, "Tatum is not my girlfriend, but we have gone out before. Nothing ever happens after. She's a nice girl but she's just not what I'm looking for." I smiled of embarrassment, and suddenly felt stupid for having everything packed away. He approached me as he walked around the couch to sit next to me. He laughed again, and grabbed my hand for reassurance, "If you could please, go back upstairs and put all of your things back," He pulled me up, "Meet me down here when you're done."