Fly Away (Michael Jackson)

seventeen

With everything going on, I should not have assumed that I was automatically involved in Michael's life in every aspect. But... his work life is his life, and I mean, it was not smart of me to assume one could separate themselves from the two when you're at the status that Michael is. My head went deeper into the pillow if my breathing became too loud from my cries. I really tried my best to keep quiet.

"Bonnie,"

I look over and see Janet, bashfully walking inside the room and sat by me. I sit upright, wiping my now soaked face, "We have to back to Luxbee, tell her that her dress isn't going to be on any red carpet soon," Janet instantly hugged me, apologizing profusely, I held her shoulders close to mine and repeated, "This is in no way your fault; You only assumed what anyone else would have. Even I did."

The door slides open once again. It's Michael.

"Bonnie, could I talk to you-"

"How could you? In what world is Brooke Shields more important than your own girlfriend?" Janet began confronting him with frustration and anger, I wanted to stop her... but didn't.

Michael put his hands up, also holding Janet away from him, "Janet, you need to calm down, it's not that simple."

"Simple fact is that Bonnie is your girlfriend, and last time I checked, dates and girlfriends coincide with each other, do they not?"

He sighs, "I need a minute alone with Bonnie to explain,"

"Oh, you better have a grand explanation for Mr. and Mrs. Luxbee who gave Bonnie a custom dress for the show." Janet crosses her arms at him.

Michael looks at me, mouth agape in surprise, "Bonnie, you have a dress...?"

"It's nothing, it doesn't matter, I shouldn't have assumed anything. I'm only crying at how stupid I look right now." I wiped my face with another tissue on the nightstand.

"Janet, could you please give us a minute?" He looks at her with a serious expression, then she finally walks out and shuts the door. Very upset on my behalf. What an angel that girl is. He walks over to the bed and sits down beside me, looking around the room before asking, "So where is it?"

I shake my head, "There's no use in showing you anymore anyways. I was going to surprise you tonight with it, but if I'm not going to be wearing it, I'm giving it back so that somebody will."

"Where is it, Bonnie?" He demanded.

With such a defeated attitude, I motioned my hand towards the closet then threw myself face first back into the bedding. He slowly rises from the bed and inches towards the closet. All I could hear was a defeated sigh. I feel absolutely stupid right now. If the earth would just open up beneath me and swallow me, that would be my best case scenario.

"Bonnie, I am so sorry-" He rushes towards me, comforting me, and all I could do was cry. At that moment in time, I didn't want comfort or apologies. I just wanted to take the day back and never bother anyone with my assumptions. What was I thinking in the first place? We've been dating for 5 minutes.

He places his hand on my shoulder, only for me to move it away as my embarrassment would not even allow me to look him in the eye, let alone allow him to touch me. He sighs again, "I feel horrible, I should have explained this to you earlier..."

I rise up from the pillow, "No, it's no one's fault but my own, I shouldn't have assumed I was invited."

"No, Bonnie, it's not that at all... It's just, for publicity, Brooke and I need to do this; I promise I wasn't trying to embarrass you." 

I look down again, and sigh, "I should be apologizing, Michael. It was wrong of me to explode during a fitting. It's... not a good time."

He let his shoulders down then looked at me, "Bonnie, let me see what I can do... maybe we can work something out?"

I shrugged then asked for some time alone to freshen up again. My mascara and hair must have been absolutely dreadful to look at. Michael kissed my forehead before walking back downstairs to finish his fitting. The pit in my stomach has died down but it hasn't fully gone away yet. My only goal was to be as invisible as possible for as long as it takes because of how I acted tonight, I'm not sure people will forget that for a long time.

I jump in the shower, letting the water hit me as I let all the feelings inside of me drain away with the water. Once I step out, I hear Michael and Brooke and someone else talking right outside in the hallway. The house sounds a lot more quieter than before, assuming everyone has now left besides these three.

"What are you saying, Michael?" Brooke inquired.

The man, who I could not yet identify, chimed in, "The plan was for you to be Brooke's escort." His frustration was enhanced.

"Daddy, let's all take a breath and let him explain," she steps in.

Oh.

"All I'm saying is, people like Bonnie don't necessarily get the chance to experience such grand events all the time, like Brooke and I do." Michael explained.

"That's because people like Bonnie don't belong in those spaces." Brooke's father retorted.

I gasped quietly, leaving my mouth agape. What a condescending a-

"I know, but it would only be a one time thing, Mr. Shields." Michael said.

With those words, I could not have felt more ashamed and insulted in my life. I thought... if anyone... Michael would be the first to defend me. What kind of behavior was this...? Is this who he's grown up to be out here? I could feel the warm tears welling up at the base of my eye. My heart raced and I clutched my mouth, trying to silence my heavy breathing before I alert them with my crying. Never did I think Michael would treat me as some charity case.

Brooke stepped in, "But who would I go with? I'm not a musician, and the Grammys already have me as the plus one-"

I couldn't hide back anymore. I stepped out from behind the door, startling them all. "Don't worry Brooke, Michael is going with you." I look over at him, and he's speechless. "As for you, Mr. Shields, no, I don't belong in a snooty, classist environment with a bunch of people who forgot where they came from," Looking directly at Michael, whose eyes widened at my words. I dashed into his room and pulled my suitcase out from under his bed. The awkward tension outside broke as Michael excused himself to talk to me. I could hear descending footsteps indicating the Shields' departure.

"Bonnie... what are you going on about? What are you doing?"

I put down my clothes and begin to cry, "I'm not a charity case." I wipe away the now streaming tears, "Sure, I may not be in the best situation and I may need help... But you and I came from the same small town, same small street. We grew up together." I pause to emphasize what really got to me, "And because of that, I never thought you would talk down on me to relate to your rich and famous counterparts."

Michael rushed to my side, "That was not at all what I was doing... I was hoping he would allow me to do it this one time so that he wouldn't ask me to escort Brooke again, leaving my plus one slot open for you... I was playing him, Bonnie, I didn't mean what I said."

"There are so many other ways to persuade someone, than to talk down on someone who loves you. I never thought this would have come from you..." I look back at my clothes, shoving them sloppily into my suitcase.

"Please don't leave," He held my arms, stopping me. "Let's talk, let's work this out... I can't lose you again,"

My pain burned harder with each word. With gritted teeth, trying to be quiet, "You weren't thinking of that when you excluded me from your world without a worry," I took my arms back and looked him straight in the eye, "I clearly don't belong here..." I zipped my suitcase closed. 

"I'll be in the guest bedroom tonight, I'm leaving in the morning. Have a good night, Michael."