The Lone Wolf

Chapter 27: Katniss

It has been terrible. I ran and ran and ran until I literally couldn't feel my paws beneath me. I remember collapsing and Taylor pushing me back, taking control. Since then, I cannot feel, cannot see what is just in front of my nose.

But I do sense him. I know Peeta is with me. I know my brother, Cato, is with him. I know I'm surrounded by about thirty pure wolves and have no idea what direction will lead me home to my baby girl.

When things do become clear, I'm lying in a field bathed in silver. A place I've visited once before. I raise my head and look around.

"Peeta?" I call out. I can't see or scent him anywhere. "Peeta, where are you?"

"He's not here this time child," I hear a voice I've come to both love and hate say. I stand up, a silvery dress much like her own draping me. I can only guess that I am looking like her mirror image.

"Why am I here?" I ask.

"You need to start trying Katniss," she says. "You can't just let Taylor fill in for you. Peeta needs you. Rain needs you. That whole pack at home needs you. You need to wake up."

"I don't know how," I say. "I don't think I'm strong enough yet."

"Stop acting like a child!" she hisses. "You're a mother now. Start acting like it!"

"I'm trying!" I cry falling to the ground. "I try so hard. But I can't break free of my guilt. That's what keeps me here."

"Why are you guilty?" she asks. "Yes, you've killed. But so has Peeta. So has nearly every one of my followers. Your kills were justified. You killed Marvel to save your mate and Snow because he threatened your pup. You have no reason to feel like this over their deaths. They deserved their ends."

"I showed no mercy," I say. "I didn't kill them with compassion. I just held their throats until they stopped shaking and the warmth left their bodies."

"Katniss, you must believe you will get through this," she says in a soft tone. "The weight of the world is not on your shoulders. Let go of this guilt and break free of this prison you've made for yourself. Go home and let Peeta take care of you for once. That's why he's there. And most of all, raise that beautiful little girl of yours to be a shining star, an Alpha worthy to be called my grandchild." She smiles at me and gently helps me up. I look at her through my tears and see her start to disappear.

"Can I talk to him?" I ask but she's already gone. I look around the frosted moonlit clearing and I feel fully and entirely alone. The dark, shadowy edges feel like they are closing in and I cry out, feeling claustrophobic and huddle to the ground. I start screaming as I do and curl into a huddled mass on the ground.

Suddenly, I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, electricity flowing through the pale scarred bite mark. I look up to see Peeta there beside me on the ground. I practically tackle him and I feel his familiar embrace encase me. I cry into his chest and he gently holds me close, rubbing my back. The pain I felt from being separate from my other half pulses like a bruise from his every touch, as though he's healing the shattered feeling in my chest.

"I've missed you so much," he chokes out and I feel his tears fall on my bare shoulder. He pulls away from me and his eyes are red and puffy. "Why did you go?"

"Guilt," I sob out. "Fear maybe. I don't anymore."

"Are you coming home now?" he asks me, gently cupping my cheek.

"I need to," I say. "I need to get back to you, back to our little girl." I look down at my lap and draw in a sob. "But I don't know how."

"Well, I don't know that Taylor will be much help," he says. "She really likes it here. She's the Alpha of an entire pack of pure wolves." I feel shock fill me at that.

"You don't think she'll let me come back?" I ask him worriedly and he shakes his head.

"I don't think she'll resist you, but I don't think she'll be much help either," he says. "She knows she has to leave, but she's gonna have to let go of her pack for that to happen. She loves them. I can see it in her eyes." I nod and feel my heart flutter with hope.

"Can you get me out?" I ask and he looks around.

"I don't know how I could possibly do that Katniss," he says. "This is your dream. I can't navigate your mind for you."

"Just, take me with you when you leave!" I beg and he looks at me.

"Katniss, I don't know if that will work," he says.

"But I don't know what else will," I cry and he gently holds me close. He helps me up and starts leading me to the very edge of my mind. He looks at me and then looks at the darkness. Suddenly he pulls me into a kiss and I feel tears in my eyes. When we separate, he looks deeply in my eyes.

"You're sure about this?" he asks and I nod. Then, together, we walk into the dizzying blackness. I panic as I feel him leave me but then the world becomes clear and a black wolf with silver eyes stands in front of me.

"You're ready to go home now aren't you," Taylor says softly and I nod.

"It's time," I say. "Thank you for understanding."

"Of course I understand," she says. "We are the same. I know why you did what you did and I know my time on the outside is over. I only ask that you name Darkstorm your replacement when you leave." She starts to try to walk away but I stop her.

"Taylor, I'm sorry I'm taking you away from them," I say. "Peeta told me how much you love it here." She gives me a wolffish grin and just shakes her head.

"I'm sure we will see them again someday," she says. "But now, like you, I'm ready to go home." She walks past me, back to the darkness that leads to the meadow of my dreams. I turn from watching her go and close my eyes, feeling myself waking up.