I'm Not Okay!

Life Has become A Living Hell

Life wasn't always this bad. When my mum was alive, life was amazing! But ever since she died things took a turn for the worst and my life has become a living hell. If you're wondering how she died,then she died from a car crash. After her death my dad took up drinking and soon became violent towards me and others. Everyone was too scared of him to call social services because he would threaten them all.

He'd abuse me everyday and I'd have to make up stupid excuses for school. Everyone calls me a self harmer because of the cuts and bruises I have covering my body. They would call me an emo even though I'm not and they would make my life not worth living. I had to hide my emotions from everybody.

My whole body feels numb from when my dad's fist hits my skin everyday, my eyes sting from all the crying and sleepless nights. The only place I can get away from everything is Starbucks, sounds weird but no one bothers me there... They leave me alone because they understand how much pain I'm in, I know they want to help and do something but they can't. I used to be a really cheery happy girl until my life decided to take a turn for the worse.

I do everything what my mum used to do when she was here, I'm kind of taking her place. Sometimes I just want to run out of this house and keep running, I don't know why I haven't gone to that option because it'd be easy. That or suicide.

"Cassie, Dishes need cleaning" He told me. He was sitting on the sofa with a can of beer in his hand watching television like a slob. By the end of the day the house would be covered with beer cans and I would have to clear them all up. I really don't know why he hasn't got alcohol poisoning yet because he drinks that much. I hope he did die of it one day... Harsh but he put me through so much pain everyday.

I walked up to the sink and ran the water, I squeezed some cheap washing up liquid into the sink and started scrubbing the dishes. When I was done I left them out to dry and looked into the living room, better get started on clearing up the beer cans so maybe I can go to bed early. I grabbed a black bin bag and started picking up the cans and chucking them into the bag. I walked over to the television where most of them was and my dad stood up, he walked over to me and pushed me to the floor laughing.

"How dare you clean up while I'm busy" He towered over me making me feel pathetic and weak, I quickly stood up.

"I'm S-Sorry" He slapped me and I winced at the pain dropping the black bin bag. He made his way back to the sofa and stared at the bag.

"Fucking useless" He spat at me, I picked up the bag and put it in the kitchen quickly. He just stared at me. "You better start making dinner" He said crushing the beer can in his hand and dropping it on the floor, He really did disgust me. I walked to the fridge and opened it, I searched around and couldn't find any eggs.

"I need to go to the shop to get some eggs, may I have some money?" I said walking up to him slowly, he gave me just the right amount.

"Hurry up, I'm hungry" He ordered, "Don't even think about buying yourself anything. If there's any change I want it back. I'll know if you lie" He growled and I shoved the money into my pocket, walking to the coat rack and putting my coat on. 

"Bye" I whispered walking to the door quickly and walking out. It was freezing, at least I had clothes. Mind you, I'd have to nearly beg for them just to get them.

Well, I better get to the shop then. If I'm not back soon I'll get punished. I really did hate that man, I really did hate my life.