Her Fight Song: An Army of Lies

Baby Baby Baby

She stood in the mirror after her shower that morning, in only her bra and underwear with her hair still wrapped in a towel. She stepped closer, gently running her hands over her face, noticing the changes that came along with age. You look fine Olivia. She shook her head, trying to erase the negative thoughts that would come to mind more often since turning 40. Olivia didn't mind getting older, in fact she didn't think much about it. That is until now..now that she was almost a week late..now that she could possibly be pregnant with their fifth child.

Self doubt and what ifs began to to fill her mind. Since speaking to Elliot that night almost three weeks ago, she was more than confident about having another baby. However, now that it had become more real and presented itself in front of her, she had become worried.

I'll wait a few more days and then I'll take the test.

She didn't want to get too ahead of herself, she just couldn't even fathom the idea of getting pregnant this fast. A smile crept upon her face, as she thought about Elliot, and how soon he got had gotten her pregnant after having Camden. The idea then became more appealing.

What am I going to do with you Stabler?

She smiled and threw her robe back on and began to brush through her hair.

"Have you seen my navy tie?" Elliot appeared at the door to bathroom, dressed in his dark navy suit but missing his tie.

"It's in the laundry room," Liv rolled her eyes. If she didn't keep track of things, everything would be lost.

"I swear if I didn't have that meeting this morning, I would ravish you right now," he wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissed her softly behind her ear. She grabbed his hands that were around her and kissed them.

"But, you can't..so don't start anything we can't finish," she turned around and pecked his lips. "Plus, I think you've managed to get the deed done already," she smirked at him.

"No way!"

"I'm a week late, but my period has been irregular from time to time, so who knows?" He picked her up and swung her around as he hugged her. "El, I don't want you to get your hopes up," she laughed out but tried to stay serious.

"I'm just so happy we're even trying," he gently placed both hands on either side of her face and brought her in for a kiss.

*********
"So.. what do you think about daddy and I possibly having another baby?" Olivia asked Farrah while she drove her to school that morning. It had hit her the other day that there were more important things to consider, other than her want for another baby.

"Hmm mm."

"No? Why not?" Olivia peeked at her daughter in the back seat.

"Camden and P are good. I don't want another," she peered out the window as they drove into the city.

"Come on, wouldn't it be fun to have a baby to play with?"

"I don't want you to mama!" She wined from the back suddenly, catching Olivia by surprise.
The familiar feeling of guilt washed over Olivia, because she knew exactly why Farrah was against her parents having another baby.

*********
It had been over a month since Olivia took what she thought would've been a positive pregnancy test, and here she was again in the same position. There hadn't really been a time in the past where they were actually trying to get pregnant. So, Olivia wasn't quite used to the feeling of disappointment that came along with a negative test.