Her Fight Song: An Army of Lies

Looking Up

"Okay, but I'm only going to do this for you one last time. I'm really trying to make a better life for us," she whispered into the phone, trying to keep her daughter from overhearing their conversation.

She paced back and forth in her bedroom, aware that what she was agreeing to do could not only put her sober lifestyle in jeopardy, but her life in general.

One last time, one last time.

She kept repeating to herself, trying convince her conscience that this would be tying up the last loose ends. She would be out of debt with anyone she owed and could finally cut all ties with her past life.

"I'll see you tomorrow, and don't be late!" she whispered harshly to the manipulative man that sat on the other end of the line.

********************************

two weeks

That's how long Elliot and Olivia had been holding therapy sessions in the office that they once shared in their home. One could say that it had been going well, but then again, one could say they were barely making progress.

They had finally sat down and actually spoke to one another truthfully, but everything still seemed to end the same way after every session. Forgiveness didn't come easy for Olivia, and being 30 weeks pregnant with twins, her focus had been on other things.

They both sat on the small brown leather couch that faced the large floor to ceiling window. While their therapist, Dr.Mark, sat across from them. The salt and pepper haired man peered over his large square glasses, as he scribbled notes per usual while they each took turns speaking. Olivia knew he was just doing his job, but the action still annoyed her. In fact, everything seemed to annoy her lately. Being home bound and stuck in bed for the most of her day over the past month had her feeling..irritated.

"Liv?" She was pulled from her reverie when Dr. Mark had called her name once more. She looked up, and continued to rub small circles over her swell. "I said does that sound okay?"

Oh right. Kenna coming over for dinner. The kids meeting her...

"I'm sure it'll be alright," she said softly and even managed to give a small smile. They had put off the dinner plans they'd made weeks ago, and figured they should go a little slower with this blended family thing. "Are we done here? I'm a little worn out from no sleep last night," which was partially true, and the fact that she could have these babies at any moment with no plan quite figured out with Elliot.

She knew being a single parent wasn't even an option, because knowing Elliot, he would fight tooth and nail to be there for his children. But it was the point of them still not having a clear picture of what they were exactly. Married? Yes. But happy? Willing to live together? to forgive?

"Liam still being stubborn huh?" Elliot reached over and placed an open palm over her swell, feeling his unborn children move about. They had decided on a name for their baby boy. A name that Olivia knew Elliot had been wanting for quite a while now, but their baby girl still remained nameless.

"You know it. Just like his father," they both laughed softly. These small moments are what she held onto. The ones that reminded her of what they used to be. Of what they could be again.

"I think you both did well today," the doctor had begun to pack up his belongings. "Same time next Monday?" He shook Elliot's hand and nodded at Olivia before the room.

There was only silence that filled the room as they both sat, not sure of what to say next- like every time.

"So this is it. Kenna is coming to dinner tomorrow?" Elliot asked for reassurance. She had been slightly more reserved, less verbal today.