Her Fight Song: An Army of Lies

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It had proved to be a difficult morning for Olivia after having to get three kids ready for the day by herself, while also being four months pregnant with twins. In fact, she ended up having to call their nanny Ava, and ask for her to come an hour earlier. If this was any insight to the possible future that laid ahead, she didn't know if she would be able to do this.

"Oooh, I don't know Casey. I didn't really give him a chance to explain much further," she peered out the window looking out on their property, while she spoke to Casey on the phone. Casey had called to simply check in on Olivia, but the distressed etched in her voice didn't go unnoticed.

"If you need me.."

"I know. I love you Case, thank you," she hung
up and ran her hands through her hair. The kids gave her a hard time this morning, but luckily Ava was keeping them preoccupied downstairs, while she tried to prepare for the trying day ahead.

***********
Olivia had never been more happy to pull into that circle driveway. Today had proved to stressful at the precinct, and all she wanted at this point was to sleep her troubles away until tomorrow. She went to dismiss Ava, but stopped in her tracks when she seen Elliot cleaning in the kitchen.

Oh god, not tonight.

She didn't have the energy to deal with this today, or any day honestly.

"Elliot, I can't.." She breathed out and took a seat at the island. Twins proved to be a completely different experience for Olivia. She didn't expect to already be achy and so exhausted this early in her pregnancy. Right now, she needed her husband more than anything, and wished he hadn't fucked up so badly. She wished that he could come home and hold her in his arms like he always did in bed. She wished that he was there to shower her with kisses in the morning to wake her up.

Damn, she missed him.

"Liv please listen to me," he stood across from her and leaned over the island. "I need for you to understand what happened, that I didn't just abandon a child."

She looked down, trying to avoid making eye contact. Her emotions were getting the best of her, and it took everything in her to not let those tears escape.

"When Kathy and I got involved, Olivia, you and I were still trying to figure out what we were. We weren't together, but we were..you remember when we had that rough patch?"

"There's no way for you to justify sleeping with another woman El!" She cried out as tears fell down her face.

"Olivia, I was confused. I obviously was a fool to think that being with Kathy was okay, because it wasn't! The minute you said you knew what you wanted from me, that you wanted to be with me, I went to go break it off with Kathy right away. But then she tells me she's pregnant...Liv, you gotta trust me when I tell you, I didn't promise her I'd leave you, or abandon Kenna on purpose. She was supposed to get an amniocentesis, and prove paternity. Which she never did..."

Olivia heard everything he was saying, but couldn't quite pin point a reaction. Her heart that still belonged to this man, was telling her to simply forgive him and let him come home. But her conscience kept reminding her that Elliot had betrayed her trust. She was willing to fight for this marriage, to try for the sake of their children and the love she knew she still had for this man.

"I.." She tried piecing together her feelings into words. "El, I am going to need some time. I understand and I believe you when you say you didn't mean to abandon Kenna, but I don't think I'll ever understand your reasons for sleeping with another woman," she spoke calmly, but tears ran viciously down her face.