What We Want From Love

Chapter 1

*** 3 months later

Ever since my fiancé, Kenny stood me up at what was supposed to be our engagement party . My name has been on every pop culture headline, social media blogs, people even made memes out of the situation. After what I've come to know as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.  I didn't even bother going back to what Kenneth and I once called 'home.' Three months later and I haven't been back there since. I left everything that was apart of my old life in that house, I wanted nothing to do with it.
"Are you serious!" I yelled, slamming people's magazine onto the coffee table. " Multi-Millionaire Kenneth Robinson leaves long-time girlfriend, for assistant." I read out loud.
"It's been three whole months,  there's nothing else circulating  in the news cycle."
I scoffed at the headline and pop a popcorn into my mouth simultaneously.  My ass has been practically glue to this couch for the last few weeks. It not like my best friend, Zonnique hasn't offer me her guest room. But, this is where I preferred spending most of my days. Some days, I found my self crying non-stop. Other days, I am quiet with a numbing feeling inside. All those memories, everything that we build, was for what ? I left my job as interior designer of the strength that we would be the sole provider in the house. What an idiot you were, Cedes. I thought, reaching over for some popcorn, only this time I grabbed a handful.

"Cedes!" Zonnique called as she descended down the stairs and into the living room.

"What?" I sniffled grabbing a tissue from the box, attempting to wipe a tears that had managed to shed while thinking.

"What are you doing?" She scoffed. "Are you looking at magazines again ?" She snatched the magazine from the coffee table and walked over to whacked open the blinds, allowing the sunlight to fill the room.
"Ahhh."I hissed as I block the sunlight with my hand.

"Girl, when are you going to get yo ass off this couch? You look like a homeless person who hasn't showered in years." She acknowledged.

Zonnique, my long time best friend who I've been friends with since the beginning of time had a Carmel complexion with chestnut brown eyes. She was petite in weight, but had a bubble butt to go with it. Her natural hair stood shoulder-length but always kept in protected under a sew-in weave or a wig.  People often took us for sisters, but blood couldn't make us any closer.
" Why are you bothering me? No work today ?"
"If you had bother to get up, you'd know today is Saturday." She clapped back. YoU'd ToDaY iS SaTuRdAy, I mocked her.
"You need to get up and stop mopping around this damn house like you have been doing for the past few weeks now.. get up !"She shouted, pulling the pillow from right under neath my head, causing me to slouch sideways.
"Girl stop it!: I scoffed, sitting up straight and give her one of my I'm- going- to- kill you look.
"Look, girl , I know you're heartbroken and all." She sits down  before continuing. "But, you got to pull yourself together, it been three months now c'mon.

"Damn, what ever happened to take all the time you need ?"

She look at me with pity and said "I only said that because I thought you would bounce back from this?"
"I can't..How can I get up and move on and pretend like I'm— my voice cracked before I could even finished my thought.

"Cedes,"Zonnique scooted over. "You are way stronger than you give yourself credit too. Beside any man who cheats on a woman and then isn't man enough to tell it to her face... is not a man to begin with."

She moved closer to me, and wrap her hands around my shoulders. "You're gonna be fine." She patted me on my back.

"It hurts." I sobbed quietly. "I am completely finished in the man department."
"So what ? She stop in her tracks. "You're moving on too girls now ?"She joked.
"Shut up Z." I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Nah but in all seriousness Cedes, love does not hurt ....only the implications of it. So, if you hurting right now. It cause it wasn't real." I give her a look. "What it's true!" I know Zonnique was speaking nothing but the truth. But, in this moment I was not ready to face it. Just when I was about to respond, a loud hammering began at the door.

"What the hell!" Z retorted, dashing to see who was requesting her present at the door.

"Who is it?"She tip-toed to the pee-hole.

"Open the door, a black girl's wig bouta fly off from all this wind out here." The person shouted. I chuckled to myself, I know exactly who it was and if Zonnique didn't open that door pretty soon she wouldn't have one. Zonnique opened the door, and in came Mo, Isis, Yorelise and Precious with box of pizza in one hand and wine in the other.

"Sweet Jesus!"Mo said covering his noses. " Smell like something died in here." Mo is the Kevin hart in our group, with his witty clap backs and commentary, Mo is not one to play with. With his butter-pecan complexion and chisel features, Mo is the epitome of a pretty boy.  He walked in and placed the bottle of wine on the table before plopping himself on the couch, "Child, I know that not you smelling like who did it and ran."

"For god sake Zonnique said she was feeling down all but Sheesh." Precious added, also covering her nose. Precious and Mo were like the dynamic duo, couldn't see one without the other. Like Mo, she never failed to make you laugh. At 5'12, Precious was a cinnamon-colored brown skin, who carried all her weight in her rear end.

"That's right, talk about me like I'm not even in the room." I said sarcastically,

"We're sorry baby. Yorelise spoke. But, you kinda smell bad." Like any group, Yorelise was the level-headed one, since middle school she has been kind-hearted and sweet to everyone who crosses her path. Like me, she was also 5'6 and shared a similar skin tone to mine, she favored Naomi Campbell. 

"Kind of? More like a lot." Mo whispered.We all go way back since middle school with the exception of Z, who I have known since I was small. But like any other day they were working my nerves since they walked through that door.

I roll my eyes."What brings you guys by?"

"Welllllll.. if you must know lil smurf." Mo smacked his gum. "And ohh..We was in the neighborhood and decided why not stop by and see our two most favorite people in the world.
"Hmmm, I see." Z smirks. "So, anyone one of those boxes here for me ?"

"Of course, we did!" Mo smiled. " We ain't want you to burning your house down again with all that cooking so we brought your little hungry ass somethin."

I chuckle at his remark. It true, Z couldn't cook even if her life depended on it.

"Cedes." Yorelise said turning her attention to me, as she took a bite out of her slice, "when are you going to take a shower sweetie? " Here we go again I thought. These heifers have been tryna get me to shower for weeks now. I don't want to take a shower I repeat don't. It not like it was gonna wash all hurt and betrayal I was feeling inside.

"Yea, sus we know your all sad and all. But, you look...well..ummm...not so attractive." Mo half- whispered the last part.

"Yea, Mo right,"Yorelise suggested, "I mean look at you." She said, handing over a small mirror she retrieved from her purse. Woah, I glanced at my reflection. They weren't lying I really did look horrible. I didn't even recognize myself. My hair had knots from not combing my hair in weeks . My face was all sweaty and greasy.

"I guess you guys are right. I'm going to take a shower...... tomorrow." I sighed readjusting myself back on the couch.

"Tomorrow? I know this heifer did not say tomorrow."Mo looked to the others for confirmation. "Bitch, you need to take your ass to that bathroom NOW! Having my wig ready to run away from my scalp... GO ON !!!!"Mo pointed to the direction of the bathroom.

"Alright, I'm going." I got up and made my way to the bathroom. But, not before sticking my hands into Precious's plate of garlic knots. "Uhuh girl, get yo nasty hands out of my plate." Precious yelled, slapping my hand making the piece of bread land right back into her plate.

I stuck my tongue out at her and ran to the bathroom, making sure to lock in case she was chasing me .