Call Me: Lady X ✔

9: Getting Down To The Nitty-Gritty.

I hated to admit that this was the best part of my day. Sitting on Facebook, chatting with my ex-boyfriend, Shane.

Of course, he wasn’t really talking to me-Sophia-he was talking to my uber-beautiful, mysterious alias, Xaviera. He called her Lady X, for short.

Now, we were talking about his klepto cousin, and my own issues. They were made up, of course, but similar to my real life problems.

When Shane and were dating, he’d mentioned his cousin, Chris, whom was a true kleptomaniac, multiple times. It was kind of like a Goodrow family inside joke.

For example, if someone misplaced something, like the salt shaker, Shane would look at his Dad and say, “Has Chris been over today? I can’t find the salt.”

Then, everyone would laugh, and look for it together. As a family.

Shane had messaged me just minutes before, when I logged on, as if he’d been waiting for me. He’d said, Finally. Now we can talk.

I loved that he’d said finally, as if he was waiting for me, and excited by my presence. That made two of us.

The conversation spilled out effortlessly, as usual.

Yes. What did your cousin steal this time?

Well, let’s get some background on him first, shall we?

* gestures for you to go on*

Haha! Well, his name is Chris, he is 23, and sleeps on his parent’s beat up couch in the basement. He can’t hold a job.

Why can’t he hold a job?

Aren’t you wondering why he still lives with his parents?

Well, not having a job would explain that much, Einstein!;)

Oh, har har, right. Anyway, he can’t hold a job because he keeps stealing things vital to that job.

LOL. Like what?

Um…the last job he had was at McDonalds, and he kept stealing the ketchup packets.

That doesn’t seem too dire, does it?

Not to mention he stole everyone’s orders so he could use those ketchup packets.

Oh. Wow.

He ended up costing poor Ronald a lot of money. Probably couldn’t even afford his custom-size clown shoes.

Ha-ha. Probably not! So, what else did he do to get fired?

How about this: If you tell me one issue of yours, I’ll tell you more funny stories about Chris.

Really? We’re bargaining now?

Yeppers.

Aww. Okay, one of my issues is that I’m deathly afraid of lightning.

Really? Why?

Well, it’s always been this fantasy of mine to ride on a motorcycle with some bad-boy in the rain. But…what if it stormed and the lightning got me?

That’s kind of screwed up…LOL!!!!!

I know, I know. But seriously.