Laughter Lines (A Dan Smith/Bastille Fanfic)

69. You're Amazing

I left the office that evening far later than I intended to. I wanted to get the review over and done with so I can move on with my life. A small flutter of nerves were circling in my stomach as I sat in the tube, remembering the embarrassing moment I had in the pantry with Taylor in the afternoon. I hated how I was unable to control my emotions when it comes to Dan, but I also loved how natural it felt to be comforted by Taylor.

I gathered my strength to dial his number, not to gloat about me not getting over Dan, but just to hang out with him. He picked up after two rings. "Hey," his cheerful voice answered.

"Hey... Uhm, are you busy?" I swallowed. I heard him chuckled from the other end. "Not really. I just got back from the photoshoot, actually. What's up?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you'd wanna hang out?" He paused a few seconds before answering. "Yeah, sure. Where are you now? Do you want me to come and get you?"

"No, no, no... I am in the tube. On my way to Lamb and Flag, actually. Should we meet there?" I asked, biting the tip of my finger. I had no idea why I felt so nervous talking to him after breaking down in front of him. That was the first time I have ever felt that way before. Waiting for him to answer was nerve wracking to say the least.

"Sure. I'll see you soon?"

"Okay..."

I was surprised to see Taylor already resting his tall figure against the wall outside of Lamb and Flag, waiting for me when I got there. I walked up to him and he gave me a wonderful, welcoming smile.

"Hey," he huffed, hugging my small frame.

"Hey. I hope you don't mind hanging out here. I think I need a drink," I smiled.

"Wow, you need a drink? That's interesting," he chuckled, ushering my body into the pub. We settled ourselves at a small table, in the corner and ordered our drinks. The waitress placed two bottles of beer in front of us and I looked at it, weighing if I should be doing one of the things I hated the most, which was to drink an alcoholic beverage. But I knew I needed the drink to ease my anxiety. At least I thought so. I shifted my focus towards Taylor who was unusually quiet that night. He had his long hair in an adorable man bun and his eyes were usually light beneath the dim pub lighting. He looked different and he seemed a bit careful around me. He didn't say anything yet apart from asking me what I wanted to drink and he avoided eye contact. It must have been my breakdown or something. Did I scare him?

"So, uhm, how was the photoshoot today?" I casually asked while sipping on my beer.

"It was great. We got what we needed," he politely replied as he glanced at me.

"Taylor, I am so sorry about what happened in the pantry today. I don't know what came over me. You must've thought that I am a crazy person or something but I was just having a really weird moment at work and I couldn't...." Taylor cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

"Anna, relax. It's okay. Really. I mean, I am here if you wanna talk about it..."

I took a few more sip of my beer and continued drinking till the very last drop. I didn't really say anything for a few moment. I just kept on ordering more drinks and chugged the alcoholic beverage down my throat although I hated the taste. The room started to slowly spin and I was beginning to sweat, which was weird.

"Anna, you might want to slow down..." Taylor murmured with a concern look plastered on his perfectly shaped face. "You know what, I don't want to talk about it. About Dan. About how he cheated on me. I refuse to be any more pathetic. I had enough talking about him. And I should really move on..." Taylor placed his hand on my shoulders.

"Okay. Let's not talk about Dan. Let's talk about the politics or the American economy or something." At that point, the room was spinning so fast that I could barely focus on Taylor's face.

"Yep. Absolutely! Why would I want to torture myself talking about the person who broke my monkey heart, right? He's moved on. I should move on. But the thing is that I couldn't! I just couldn't get over that fucker! Fuck Dan! Fuck him and his perfect blue eyes! Fuck his weird but sometimes amazing hair! Fuck his annoyingly beautiful accent! And most importantly, fuck his voice because it gives me goosebumps! I am not already drunk now, am I?" I felt triumphant that I was able to express my pent-up feelings when I was drunk. I could never do that had I been sober. But I wasn't sober that night. I was batshit drunk and it felt great to talk shit about Dan because he was such a shitty boyfriend!

"Do you think I am pathetic, Taylor?"

The room was still spinning.

"No. Not at all. I think you're amazing."

"That's bullshit, Taylor! If I were that amazing, I wouldn't have been dumped. Dan would be locking me up in a bulletproof glass or something if I was that amazing!" I could no longer see what expression Taylor was giving me. My mouth just wont stop blurting out the things that I should not have said out loud.

"I told you I think you're amazing. And I wasn't talking on behalf of Dan. I was talking on behalf of myself. As a person. As your colleague. As your friend. You are an amazing person, Anna. And if Dan is too blind to see that, then that is his loss! You're great! And you shouldn't be moping around like this because of an ungrateful guy like him! Just because a guy like Dan cheated on you, that does not mean that there wont be other people who is able to love you a million times better. I know that someday, someone is going to love you and he is going to make you happy because you deserve to be happy." The room suddenly stopped spinning. I could see Taylor's face was red but I wasn't sure if it was due to anger or embarrassment.

"You really think I am amazing?" My heart was beating faster but I wasn't sure why. It must have been the alcohol in my bloodstream or I was just having an anxiety attack. I could not really tell. But Taylor was definitely giving me very weird vibes that night. It almost felt like he was angry at me for some unknown reason.

"Yes. And I hope you wont ask me why because I have no answer for that." I looked over at him and his cheeks were still red. My brain was slowly digesting the grand speech Taylor had told me but I was too tipsy to process them.

"So... How bad is the American economy right now? Do you want to go back to the States?" I poked the side of his torso and he began to laugh. I joined his laughter and we both laughed like complete fools for thirty minutes. I was drunk. He was not because he was driving.