Cold Tomorrow

[10]

CHAPTER TEN

"It's like it's happening all over again," Caden whispers beside me. He's talking about Before.

And it does feel that way: Sarah, lying pale on Katherine's couch, refusing to wake up; Katherine bending over her, checking her temperature. It feels like time has put us on a horrid loop, laughing as we repeat the same things over and over – as we make the same mistakes, fight the same battles. Watch the same deaths.

"She just fainted?" Katherine asks, still hovering over Sarah.

Caden looks sideways at me for a second and our eyes meet, a silent conversation running between us. "Yes," Caden says before I can respond. "I mean, she was looking a little tired, but I didn't expect her to just collapse. Has she been sleeping?"

"As far as I know. Where were you?"

"Just leaving Sarah's biological father's house."

Katherine looks up for a second. "You went? How did that go?"

"Well," I reply, and it's only half a lie. "He was happy to see her."

Katherine smiles, but a sadness lingers behind it. Then she sighs, stands up. "Sarah will be fine. It seems she just needs time to recover. From what exactly, we'll find out when she wakes."

I stand silently as Katherine leaves the room. When I'm sure she's gone, I look to Caden. "Why did you lie?" I ask. "There's no reason for us not to tell her what's going on."

"Think about it, Melissa–"

"Maya."

"Think about it, Maya. You've just discovered you have powers, that your father is an Anarkk – or at least an assumed Anarkk – and then you realise that you might be one as well. That the reason you fainted is proof you are one. Would you want everyone to know about it? Wouldn't you want to be in control of who finds out?"

"I would," I say. "But Katherine's different. She's not exactly going to kick her out of the house if she finds out Sarah's an Anarkk – and a mild one at that."

"I don't think there's such thing as a 'mild' Anarkk. You either believe in the end or you don't. There's no fence sitting when it comes to the survival of humanity."

I shrug. "Maybe," I say, because he may not have hope in Sarah, but I still do. I just can't imagine the girl I was once so close with could ever be capable of such immoral beliefs. Nor could I ever truly believe that the father I grew up with was lying to me. How could he do that? How could I have missed something so huge?

I stop myself before the questions go any further. It's thoughts like these that threaten to tear apart your soul.

"Are you okay?" Caden asks, reaching out to me.

"I'm fine," I reply offhandedly, taking the smallest of steps away as the reminder, Don't get too close, starts up in my brain, repeating over and over like an annoying tune I've got stuck in my head.

He doesn't look hurt like I thought he would, just confused, and the emotion is quickly buried beneath a mask. "If that were true, you wouldn't be staring into thin air. And this morning has changed a lot of things. You'd be crazy if weren't at least slightly upset or confused about it."

"I think upset is a bit of an understatement," I admit softly, because I feel numb, and numbness is my body's protective blanket. I slip underneath and draw the edges up over my head whenever I'm threatened by deeper, darker emotions, and it keeps them at bay. "But hey, enough about me. How are you doing?"