Cold Tomorrow

[15]

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"He was – he was going crazy. I don't know when exactly it started, but I think it must have been when I was young. It was little things at first, like he'd forget something as soon as I told him, or he'd react strangely to things people said. But then when I was eleven, it just accelerated. It snuck up on us. All of a sudden, he was all over the place, mixing around his emotions, forgetting people he'd known since forever, believing they were other than were. He got paranoid. He was convinced my English teacher was out to harm us and set up security cameras all around the house. He even got arrested by the police for harassing people at work – for being 'violent', they said. It was terrifying.

"But mum – Katherine – didn't want to tell anyone. Our predicament was tough enough as it was and she thought something otherworldly was causing the mental illness. She didn't want doctors digging around finding things they couldn't understand. So we left it. She was always bringing in healers – a new one each week, it seemed – but they did nothing to help him. And it just got worse.

"A couple weeks after I turned twelve, he started acting suspicious towards – Katherine. He'd say things to me, like, 'Don't listen to your mother, don't trust her, don't let her get too close.' And then, one afternoon when I got home from school, he pulled me into the hallway while mum was cooking and whispered, 'The lady in our house is not who she says she is. She's tricking you.' You can imagine I was pretty freaked out. He thought Katherine was an imposter in her own home. It was dangerous.

"So I told her what he said. She looked pretty afraid after hearing it but told me not to speak of it anymore – to anyone – and went on as normal. Then the next week, when dad was working late, she sat me down on the couch. She said, 'Don't freak out,' and then pulled out a gun from behind one of the pillows." Sarah laughs, albeit grimly. "I freaked out. But when I got over it, Katherine told me that it was for my protection. She didn't mention what it was meant to protect me from – but I knew. Of course I knew. She didn't need it because she had her powers, but I was completely defenceless without it. She taught me the basics – showed me how to switch the safety on and off and pull the trigger – and then we hid it in my bedroom.

"A couple weeks later, I got used to the idea of it being there and was even glad for it – especially on days when dad was acting the worst. Whenever he started acting violently, she'd send me a warning look that I took to mean, Get the gun. So I'd retreat to my room, dig out the gun, and shove it in the waist band of my pants, or in my undies if I was wearing a dress. Then I'd return to whatever I was doing and try to forget about it. It was a horrible feeling, having it so close to my body, up against my skin – and I couldn't even imagine actually shooting it – but I did what I had to. That's the way lived." She shrugs.

"Every now and then, Patrick would stop by to see how we were doing. He'd always made it clear not to view him as an uncle, so I didn't, but there was no doubting he cared for Katherine. He was the first one she'd told when she started noticing the signs, and since then she'd kept him updated. In return, he helped us; he made sure we were okay. I didn't view him as a bad person back then – I would never have thought it possible. But I think mum might have had her suspicions. I only say that looking back on it now, of course. At the time, I didn't see it.

"Nevertheless, he was there for us. Dad trusted him even though he didn't trust Katherine, so at least we had that in our favour. Plus whenever Patrick was around, dad seemed to act normal – or at least more normal than usual. He was getting more unstable than I thought possible – in one week, he had gotten arrested for injuring a stranger he thought was trying to kill him, and had punched a hole in one of the walls of our house. His mental illness – if that's what it was – was steering him towards violence.