I Tell My Secrets And You Took My Pain

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Look at me starting a new book even though I haven't updated anything in ages, oops - but I couldn't seem to work on my other stories until I got this out of my head.

So this was originally supposed to be a one-shot which was inspired by the lovely 20_dollar_nosebleed, but it got way too long, so I turned it into a short story instead.

I already have most of it written, I just need to go back and edit everything. I don't think this will be any longer than five chapters at the most, so expect at least the next two parts sometime soon.

So hopefully you guys enjoy my first Ryden, and please give me some feedback. I am trying to branch out and write something besides for Frerard's, and I am curious if you guys enjoy that.

((((good vibes))))

<3 starr

Brendon Urie had an ironclad 'No Ryan Rule' which he abided by religiously, and everyone surrounding him was aware of it as well, even though he had never explicitly laid it out in words per se, but he truly hadn't needed to, not after everything that had happened between them, hell - even the reporters he interacted with were learning to steer away from anything Ryan Ross related, and Brendon was extremely thankful for the fact that most people he came into contact with took care to never utter that dreaded name whenever Brendon was within earshot.

Brendon hadn't always followed this strict policy, well obviously not at first, fuck - he could still remember the times when he could barely keep his hands off of the older boy, or when he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his existence wrapped in a pair of sheets with Ryan pressed up against him, but even in the days following Ryan's sudden split from the band, and sequentially Brendon's life, Brendon had tried to maintain some semblance of the relationship they had once had, he had tried so fucking hard, but something had changed within Ryan, and he wasn't the same person that Brendon had been madly in love with at one point in time.

Brendon had been attracted to Ryan from day one, but he had forced himself to ignore his urges at first, his fear of becoming involved with a bandmate, not to mention a man had kept his unruly emotions contained, but eventually, Brendon lost the internal battle with his mind, and he found himself tripping head over heels for the older boy, desperately hoping that Ryan would catch him before he tumbled face-first onto the unforgiving pavement below him, and luckily for Brendon, Ryan's outstretched arms halted his downward motion, cocooning him within their warm embrace in a way that Brendon had never experienced with anyone else before.

The two boys hadn't shared a typical love story, of course not - there hadn't been any romance, or dates, but there was always something there, an electric connection that neither boy could ignore for long, leading to many drunken hookups with transformed into sober sex once they finally admitted that there was more to this than just the urge to get off.

They had never had a conventional relationship, the band had made sure of that, but that didn't mean they cared for each other any less because of their oddities, although they hide their budding romance from the prying eyes of the media, even going so far as to keep their distance during the downtime that followed the whirlwind tours during which their attraction was truly allowed to blossom, and they avoided the term boyfriend, the definition didn't seem to fit whatever they had going on between them.

Brendon had been the one to accelerate things, because he really liked Ryan, he was different than all of the girls, as well as the occasional boy that threw themselves at him looking for their fifteen minutes of fame, and even though Brendon should have known better than to attempt to pursue a relationship with one of his bandmates, because those things could never end well, he threw caution to the wind, his young mind believing that they could make it work despite the insurmountable odds stacked against them, but Brendon had never been so wrong.

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