Disconnected // 5SOS and Magcon

Part 18

It's been 2 days since I've had that painful thing. I'm coming home now and I don't want to think about anything else. I just want to chill out and relaxing my mind. I need a rest. Seriously.

I'm about to sleep then my Twitter notifications was full of mentions from Calum's fans. They asked me why I haven't with him anymore. And the others asked me did I know that Calum is still alive, not dead.

"Hey (y/n), how about your relationship with Calum?". Then I scrolled down and I saw a tweet that hurts me a lot. It's from Matt's fan. She said "go away from Matthew, slut! You don't deserve him, and you'll never be!".

See? They hates me. I don't think I can build a relationship with Matt. Even when he's convenience me, I don't think I can. Because... Yup. See what happens now? They don't like me. Okay, I don't care. I just want to have fun with my life. I'm going to watch Netflix with Luke at the boys house.

I'm riding my bicycle. God, I swear I'm such a 9 years old kid right now. All teenagers used skate or maybe car to their friend's house. But I don't have anything besides this beautiful bicycle.

***
"Hey (y/n), come in! Why are you takes a long time to got here? You don't have to be beautiful like you're going to a date. We just watch Netflix. You can wear pajamas!" Michael complaining to me. Okay he sound like an angry kitten. Never mind.

"Shut up, kitty. Now where's Ashton?" I ask to Luke. Luke was about to reply me but suddenly Calum's just replied it.

"He was going to the cafe with Bryana." He said.

Damn, I didn't ask you. I asked Luke. I hate this people. But after he said that, our eyes stuck on each other.  Those moments when you stare into each other's eyes and for a split second it feels like the whole world is in your hands.

It's like the first met. I can remembered it all. We both deny it... but if we look close into each others eyes, we know our love is different. We know we have a future full of feelings that were left behind. And I know he still loves me. And I can't say that I love him too.

This feeling is sucks. You don't know if you can love him again or not because he has been hurt you. Some people push others away because they don't want to get hurt. Others push people away because they got hurt. And I'm the one who push Calum because I don't want to get hurt anymore.

"I didn't ask you, I asked Luke." I said to him. I didn't look into his eyes again. Even, his face. I tried to be calm as I could. And I just bumped into him, with accidentally. And just sit beside Luke. Oh my God, forgive me. I'm such a mean girl. I didn't mean to be like that.

Michael just turn out the situation. He offered us pizzas. I ordered pepperoni and mozzarella pizza. While waiting the pizzas come, I sit and choosing film on Netflix. And suddenly Calum come and sit beside me. Seriously it's an awkward moment between us.