It's Complicated

Fear the Feeling

Jenson

The next morning when I wake up, I discover legs knotted up with mine and the smell of vanilla in my nose.

I open my eyes and look at the girl wrapped up in my arms.

Her fingers are laced through mine and her face is buried in my chest. The hand that's not holding mine is resting on my bare stomach.

Memories of last night come back to me and I can't help but think. Wow I kissed Braelynn Sonters.

I can't help but think that Braelynn feels so right wrapped in my arms. Here with me. In my bed. I know that it may seem stupid but it's true. And most of all frightening.

I never have been a one girl type of guy. I've never had a serious girlfriend. It's always been one night stands and quick fucks.

So the feeling that I have inside me right now is seriously terrifying.

But even though I'm fearing this feeling, I can't help but love it at the same time.

As I look down at the girl curled up against me, I mindlessly twirl her soft brown hair around my fingers.

But the sweet moment is ruined when a certain ass hole opens the door.

"Hey little bro..." He clears his throat before speaking again, "hmm never mind." And then he shut the door.

Rolling my eyes I unwillingly untangle my body from Braelynns and throw on an old football t-shirt before going out to find Jami.

I walk down the stairs and find him in the kitchen. He's shoving Cheerios down his throat and I look at him in distaste. I get that he's a guy and all but manners bro.

When he finally realizes my presence he swallows and starts talking, "So who's the chick?"

"She's not just a chick J. That's Braelynn." I tell him while pouring myself a glass of milk.

He practically chokes on his cereal before looking at me like I'm insane.

"I told you not to fuck things up! You're not supposed to bag a chick you actually like before dating her!"
He yells at me.

Rolling my eyes I reply, "God we didn't have sex Jami! I had to fight a guy off of her and she was to shaken up to go home."

"Oh," he says, "So you really do care about this girl?"

"Yea J. I really do." I reply right as I hear her voice.

"Sunny!" It's Brae I know but at the name I take an uneasy gulp.

She comes around the corner and in all her messy hair and smudged makeup, she still looks gorgeous.

"Why'd you call me that?" I ask her glancing over at Jami who knows exactly why I'm uneasy.

Our younger sister was the only person who ever called me that.

"Well..." She starts and looks at me nervously, "It seems to make sense because of the 'son' in your name and plus you're so bright. Like the sun."

By the time she's finished she's finished she staring at her feet not daring to make eye contact with me.

"Hey!" I say lifting her chin. My eyes soften when I see that she looks scared of what I'll say, "I love that nickname."

She smiles at me and then kisses my cheek.

Jami makes a coughing sound and I remember that he's in the room.

"Umm Braelynn, this is my older brother Jami." I tell her.

"Hello Jami." She says giving him a curt wave.

"Hi" he says back with a nod.

Awkward.

"Well isn't the sexual tension just high in here?" Jami says.

Braelynns cheeks blush a bright shade of red.

"Fuck. You. Asshole." I seethe at him.

I then turned to Braelynn and nodded to the door with my head, "Come konfetka. Let's get you home."

Brae gave me a curious look at the name and Jami looked surprised. 

I never spoke my mothers native tongue of Russian or my fathers of Italian. 

"Okay." She said as we left.

*****

"What the fuck you idiot! Get the hell off of me!" Braelynn screams in my ear.

Okay um OW!

"One condition." I smile evilly at her.

"What?" She asks almost scared of what my answer will be.

"Brae, Bella.." I start.

"I like that. Bella I mean. You should call me that." She says with a smile.

"Okay." I laugh, "Bella, go on a date. With me."

I am so nervous right now that it's not even funny.

I have never. Now note this. NEVER asked a girl out on a date. I mean I have asked a girl to fuck plenty of times but a date? Not once.

When I said Braelynn was different, I meant it. She is different. She's changing me slowly and it's for damn sure scaring the shit out if me.

"Why me? You could go date any girl in the school. But you chose me. Why?" She asks.

"Because, all those other girls...they're not like you. Those girls want me because I'm popular or I'm on the football team. They don't want to be with me. They want to be with my status. But you're different. You're not like them."

When I look at Braelynn after what I say, she has tears in her eyes. I quickly rush over and cup her face in my hands.

"Mi Bella don't cry. Why are you crying?" I ask wiping her tears.

"Yes."

Is all she says. It takes me awhile to realize she means to going on a date. I smile at her still holding her face.

"Good"