Scattered Leaves

Chapter 1: The Plan

Autumn dealt with depression for almost all her life. She had finally had enough.

On Monday, Autumn devised a plan that would surely take all of her problems away. A plan to finally end her miserable life. She had had enough. When she was 5 years old her mother had died and she was forced to live with her father. Her father was a great dad before her mother died, but then he started to get into drinking and started to lose every job that he got. He became extremely depressed. When Autumn was 12 years old her father went out and never came back. The cops knocked on her door and told her that her father was murdered. One single bullet could take away so much and leave such a large scar.

It only took four years of moving from one foster home to another for Autumn to realize that she didn't need to live anymore, that it was just too hard to endure any longer.

Her plan was this:

->Give herself 11 days to say goodbye to whoever even cared.

->Once the 11 days were done she would take her own life. She wasn't sure how yet, but all of them would give her what she wanted most...death.

She knew how selfish, childish, pathetic and completely stupid it was to do this but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to live and she had nobody in her life. She was so depressed. She didn't know how she got to such a bad point in her life, so bad that she wanted to end it.

Her cuts were getting deeper and her love for life was getting lower. She couldn't explain how she felt to her so-called friends and she couldn't explain why she cut. She was depressed, hurt. To her, the knife dulled the pain little by little until the next day when the pain came back greater than before. She couldn't explain that to someone who has never felt it before, who hasn't felt the same numbing feeling that the knife brought her each day. They wouldn't understand.

It was Tuesday and Autumn awoke to her bloody knife in one hand and more gory cuts on her arm. One was still bleeding from the night before. Her pillow was stained with tears and blood. She got out of bed and let the knife fall on her pillow. She took out a black sweater to hide her cuts and some black jeans.

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She arrived at school while 'Oh Canada' was playing. Standing alone in the large hallway with her tiny form made her feel like a mouse. Her arm and wrist throbbed and felt hot. She suddenly felt like breaking down. The pain was greater than yesterday. Her arms and wrists were so full of cuts that she knew she'd have to start cutting her fingers or legs. At one point she even had a little over 50 cuts. She was lost. Her foster parent doesn't even know that she cuts. Sarah never checked on her at night, nor asked her if she was okay. She never really acknowledged Autumn's presence at all. She did like that but it would be nice to know that someone cared for her.

When 'Oh Canada' was over Autumn started walking faster and bumped into a classmate. Both teens fell onto the floor and gathered their thoughts before looking at each other.

His eyes were a beautiful shade of green and his dark brown hair circled his face and framed it perfectly, flowing a little past his ears.

"Sorry I was in a hurry." Autumn said.

He reached over and wiped a tear off of her cheek. She hadn't noticed she let one escape.

"What's wrong?" His brows crossed in wonder.

She wiped her face off. "Nothing. Not like you'd care anyways."

"Just because I don't know you doesn't mean I don't care." He stared for a moment, "I'm Devon by the way."

"Autumn" She said taking his hand

 He got up and lifted her off of the ground. The sleeve of her sweater glided up her arm to expose her ugly scars and her new gory cuts. Devon stared for a moment until she pulled her sleeve up and turned her head.

"I have my reasons." She said quietly.

"So did I." He held out his wrists to show his own scars.

She stared at him with understanding, "What happened?" She asked.

"My-"

"HEY! YOU TWO! GET TO CLASS!" Mr. Chapman yelled from his classroom.

"Sorry." They said together.

"Meet me here at lunch?" He asked her.

She nodded and headed to class, looking back as she did.

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Devon headed to class. He couldn't get Autumn's sad eyes out of his head. He knew what road she was going down, he, himself went down the same one. He was close to death. He would never forget what helped him decide against it.

Looking at Autumn, he knew he had to help her and he would succeed. No matter what it took, he had to help her.

What he went through was bad, but someone convinced him that life was worth living in the end. Devon sighed and stepped into his class fifteen minutes late.

"Sorry, tripped in the hall."

The class roared in laughter and the teacher silenced them.

"Please take your seat." She ordered.

Devon sat down and layed his fingers on his cold, pale scars and thought of Autumn. Her long brown hair, her sad violet eyes, her slim form, and most of all, her arm full of scars and cuts. From his own experience he could tell that a lot of them were fresh and very deep.

He remembered the last time he cut. He wanted to end his life. He picked up his knife and just started cutting his wrists in different directions. He remembered the numbing feeling, the streams of salty water coming down his face, the warm red liquid pouring down his arm and onto the floor, forming a puddle. He remembered collapsing onto the floor and into the cold pool of his own blood. He remembered feeling weak, he felt no pain. He remembered laying half naked on the floor, blood staining his bare torso, the feeling of death approaching him. He remembered everything moving slowly. His brother walking in as his eyes closed. He was sure he was dead. It all felt like a dream.

"Devon?" Charlotte asked. "Are you ok?"

Devon looked at Charlotte sitting so innocently beside him. Her short hair in a beautiful braid and her eyes staring in worry. "I saw a girl today. I have to help her."