Marine Baby

Chapter Ten

I sat against the door for hours. It was dark outside now. Ryan came to the door a couple of times to try and talk to me. Justin asked if I would talk to him and I answered with a quick no. The only one I talked to was my dad. I lied to him and told him I was sick. I just needed time, just a few minutes to figure everything out.

I listened for any noise when I was certain I didn't hear anyone in the hall I got up and opened the door quietly. I knew Ryan could hear me. I knew he was in his room, but I also knew he wasn't going to come out unless I asked him to. He knew I needed time and I would come to him when I was ready. 

I walked down the hall and saw all the lights were off. Justin must have went home awhile ago, probably tired of waiting for me to come to my senses. I walked back down the hall and headed to Ryan's door. I didn't knock I just let myself in. He was laying in bed in the dark but I knew he wasn't sleeping. I walked over to his bed and crawled in under the covers. 

"Hey." I tried breaking the tension in the air. I didn't want him upset with me. 

Ryan rolled over to face me, "Hey."

"I am sorry I didn't talk to you earlier and I wouldn't let you in my room. I just needed a minute. I needed to think. I'm sorry for making you worry." I said looking him straight in the eye so he could tell that I wasn't lieing. I love him and I hope he knows that. We had such a beautiful day to have it screwed up like we did tonight. 

"I love you too, Jules. Always and forever." he leaned in a gave me a sweet and loving kiss. 

"I forgot to tell you that we are leaving a few days before we were scheduled. Everything has gotten changed on base. I know I have to talk to Justin but I wanted to talk to you first. I want to explain to you how i feel about what is happening. I don't fully understand this two mates thing going on, but I only want you. I won't lie to you, I wanted Justin for a long time. I wanted, no needed his love. But when you came into my life I felt less needy of him, but then I needed you. I hated when you would leave me at night. I hated the thought of you with other girls, but I knew you weren't mine so I couldn't say anything. What I have with you is a million times different than what I had with Justin. It is so much better. You are my best friend and the one I love. I want only you, Ryan. You are mine forever and always. If you will still have me. I don't know what you and Justin decided when I was in my room. But I wanted you to know how I feel."

"First, we didn't decide anything. This is your decision and yours alone. You can have us both. Or you can choose just one. If you wanted we would share you. We are selffish creatures but if you asked that of us, we would do it. We could never deny you of anything. Which is why I can not tell you no unless the result will harm you in any way. Know love, that you are always first for me. You are my best friend, love and mate. I made love to you today to show my love to you. You are my world." Ryan declared to me. 

I love this man. I couldn't imagine a more wonderful guy in this world. He treats me like I am his air. I will talk with Justin tomorrow and tell him know my decision. I have to go back to North Carolina and I am only going with Ryan. Hopefully, Justin can move on, find another mate. I hate hurting him, but he doesn't understand my job. He doesn't know me anymore. I am not the same person I was back then. 

I leaned over to Ryan and kissed him with all the love that I felt for him. I ran my hands through his hair and pulled him closer to me. There was no space between the two of us. He kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to him. "Let's sleep tonight love. I need you rested for tomorrow. It will be an emotional day for you."

"Ok. I will. I love you." giving him one last kiss I laid my head on his chest and fell asleep to the beating of his heart. 

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Sorry it took  me ahilw to get this up. I had to reread it before I posted it. 

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