Going going gone

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Lady

I had laid with Bruno on the cold floor all night.

Only thing is, I never fell asleep.

I stayed up all night thinking about how what I did was wrong.

I promised Bruno that I wouldn't use and I used.

After all he's done for me, I broke the one promise I made to him.

Truth is that when I got that taste, I knew that I couldn't stop my addiction.

I was in so much pain and I was just going to be a problem for him.

Even though he took back what he said, he was right.

I have so many problems.

I'm so fucked up.

I'm too fucked up for anybody to ever love me. I feel like it's selfish to try.

Especially since I needed heroin so much.

I didn't want to be that one junkie that holds him back from his career.

I didn't want to stop him.

I didn't want him to be always worried about me.

I didn't want him to think he had to watch what I did and who I talked to.

I didn't want to lie to him about the drugs anymore.

I sat there all night thinking about how much I loved him and how young we both were.

I thought about how much he wanted to be famous.

I thought about us together and how we bring out the worst in each other.

I thought about how much we fight and how much he hates fighting with me.

Then around 7 or 8 in the morning, I came to my conclusion while I sat on the floor.

I had to go.

So I slipped out of his grasp and I grabbed the things I had bought from the night before and a small bag.

I couldn't do this to him.

I couldn't allow him to love me, when I couldn't be what he wanted or what he needed.

Peter

When I woke up it was 9.

I felt for Lori anna and I when I didn't feel her I got up to look for her.

"Lori? Lori?"?

No answer.

"Lori anna?"

Then I went into the bedroom and I saw all of her things were just gone.

All of the drawers were open and her shopping bags were gone.

"Oh my god... she left me."

I shook my head.

"No...no this can't happen."

I got up and dressed as quick as I could and bolted out the door.

I was running along the sideway when I bumped into Phil.

"Bruno!"

"Not the time man."

"Bruno wait I was coming to give this to you."

"Can't it wait?!"

"It's from Lori!"

"What?"

I turned around to him and I grabbed an envelope from him.

Lori's name was written in cursive on the front with little hearts around it.

I stared at the paper.

"When did she give you this?"

"This morning. Around 8:30. She said she couldn't talk and to give you the letter. What's it say anyways."

I opened it and read.

Dear, Peter Gene

My one and only.
I hope that you understand why I'm leaving.

I just can't stand to let you down baby and I know that that's all I'm good for.

Never doubt that my love for you is as deep as the ocean and as wide as the sky.

I love you so much, but I can't hold you back from being who you want to be and I don't wanna be a burden on you.

Plus I need to straighten myself out, but when I do I'll be in your arms again if God drives me to you.

If it's our fate.

I love you my one and only

Love, Lori Anna

Ps: Make me proud.


I looked at the note in confusion.

"She wasn't holding me back..."

"What's the note say?"

"Never mind that Phil, do you know where she was going when you last saw her? Did she say anything to you about where she was going?"

"She said she had to catch the subway to get to the airport."

"Airport? Where is she going?"

"If you don't know then I didn't either,man."

"Thanks Phil. I gotta go."

I ran in the direction of the subways.

I was just praying that I could get to her and change her mind.

She wasn't holding me back.

I needed her with me.

I loved her.

Lady

I was sitting on the subway with my things waiting to move.

A little bell dinged and the doors closed but we still weren't moving.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

Then an old woman started tapping me.

I opened my eyes and glanced at her.

"Miss? Miss?"

"Yes?"

"There's a man outside that window and it seems as though he's trying to get your attention."

I turned around and looked out the window.

My heart fluttered and I pressed my hand against the glass.

"Peter gene."

I smiled and waved and Bruno did the same.

I couldn't get off, the doors were closed.

I couldn't go to him.

I couldn't roll down the window and say what I wanted to say...so I improvised.

I pointed to my eye and then my heart and then to him to say I love you.

He did the same but he held up two fingers to say I love you too.

The train started to pull away and I pressed my hand against the window.

He waved and I waved too.

I was off to California and he was on his way to stardom and now nothing stood in his way.

Especially me.





END OF PART ONE



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