Once upon a time I was a new, innocent, naive sugar baby. I've been in the sugar bowl for almost a year and a half now. It's had its share of ups and downs, and it's through the downs that I learned from my mistakes.
Here are 5 of the most common (in my opinion), mistakes that sugar babies new to the game make, and most importantly, how to avoid them. I hope you gals find this useful - I know I would have.
1. Falling in love with your sugar daddy.
Do. Not. Do. It. Ever. It will end badly. I foolishly fell in love with my first sugar daddy. I got caught up in the thrill and newness of it all - connecting with someone older whom I actually shared a lot of life experiences and personality traits with, someone who was successful and knowledgeable, someone who treated me well by opening the doors for me, paying for everything, and just knowing how to be a real man. I wasn't used to being treated well by shitty college guys my age. And when you're spending time with someone talking over long dinners and relaxing in hotel rooms, it's easy to let your emotions run high and get carried away. Lust and love get confused very easily in these types of arrangements. I thought I had a future with my first SD, and so did he. But he was married and we lived on opposite coasts. So eventually we broke up.
How to avoid: Make the money your number one focus. Once my SD and I transitioned from an arrangement to a real relationship, the money sent was less and less frequent. I even felt bad asking him for money for things because I felt like I was taking advantage of him. My SD knew I was stressed working on-campus and going to school, so he sent me the money each month that I would've made working my minimum wage job - no extra. If you keep things strictly an arrangement, you'll get exactly what you're owed.
2. Having sex on a first meeting.
Under no circumstances should you have sex with a POT on the first date. In fact, never engage in any sort of sexual activity with a POT UNTIL you have an agreed upon arrangement and UNTIL your agreed upon compensation is in your hands or bank account.
How to avoid: Always tell your POT that you are not doing anything sexual on a first meeting. If a POT tries to convince you to meet him at a hotel or motel, politely decline. If he absolutely insists, forget him.
3. Letting POTs string you along.
Time is money. Especially in the sugar world. On all of the sugar daddy sites, there are 95% losers and only 5% actual sugar daddies. I've wasted countless hours texting, emailing, and calling POTs. They were just looking for cheap, prostitute pay per play situations, essentially phone sex - when they call you and the conversation goes like this (Him: Hi, how are you? Do you like anal? Are you okay with threesomes? I want to cum inside you, okay? You have a really high sex drive too, right?), or just looking to waste my fucking time probably jerking off to my pics.
How to avoid: Once you're in communication with a POT, set a date/time/place to meet as soon as possible. It'd even be best if you could discuss what exactly you're looking for before you meet. If a POT wants to send countless emails, repeatedly asks for pics when he's seen the ones you have on your profile, or asks tons of stupid and personal questions - forget him. And if your POT dances around the idea of an allowance and refuses to give you a range - forget him.
4. Letting your sugar daddy string you along.
Once a POT becomes your SD, you'd think life would be easier. And it should be. Now, this has never happened to me so I cannot speak from personal experience, but there are girls who end up not receiving their agreed upon allowances from their sugar daddies short-term and/or long-term. These men made excuses like they couldn't get to the bank, they couldn't take out that much without their wife noticing, or they forgot. Yeah right. That's like "the dog ate my homework" kind of shit. And yet they had no selective amnesia when they were supposed to meet their babies. Convenient right?
How to avoid: If your sugar daddy doesn't give you your allowance, stop seeing him immediately until he does. And especially do not have sex with him for free until you have that money in your hand/bank account.
5. Managing your money badly.
I'll admit, when the dough started rolling in I went a bit, well a lot, crazy. I bought a new Macbook, tons of clothes, shoes, high-end makeup, things for my room, things for my dog - anything. But after I had literally nothing else that I wanted to buy, my logic and senses started coming back to me. I decided to put my money in a safe to save, draw up a budget and goals list, and try to buy less unnecessary things. I'm still not perfect, but I've got a decent cushion for leeway.
How to avoid: Keep your cash in a safe or a savings account. I avoid depositing my allowance into the bank because I do not want to get flagged for suspicious activity. By keeping my money in a safe, I know exactly where it is and how much I have. And each time I go into the safe, I internally ask myself if I really need whatever it is I'm taking the money out for. I feel a little guilty taking away from the thick envelope, so that helps me make better choices. I have a lot of nice things to show for what I've spent a lot of my money on, but no real good investments. I did pay off my credit cards (yay), but other than that I've been a bit frivolous. Save for things that matter. Like tuition, a car, plastic surgery, rent, utilities, grocery money. And each time you meet that big goal, you'll feel accomplished and responsible - because you are.
