Broken, Imperfect

Chapter 31

"So, how's life been" Austin asked me quietly.

"Confusing" came my soft reply.

"I bet." he told me with a tilt of his head. "If it's any consolation, mine has been pretty rough too."

"That doesn't actually help. At all" I spoke blatantly as he hung his head in a dejected manner.

We had just piled into my jeep and he was trying to make things less awkward for himself, and he was doing a terrible job, too. He sat as if he didn't know what else to say, so as I cranked the car, I reached across and grabbed his hand loosely, just rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand.

"Well, I'm ready for a cuddle session" he commented innocently.

"Yeah, well don't count on it" I said more sharply than I intended, but he was hesitant to reply. "Look Aus, this isn't is walking on glass. I'm being blunt with you for a reason. It won't be so harsh forever. Trial and error, trial and error." I told him simply for peace of my own mind.

It was to reassure him that I wasn't just being an asshole because I was angry. I was angry, but not at him or at myself, but at the situation. I was angry that things had to play out the way they did. I'd rather have a trial and less error. Ya win some, ya lose some.

We finally pulled into a parking lot of a large strip of stores. All the way at the end was an antique store, and then a Salvation Army, a little bookstore, an ice cream shop, a boutique, a shop that rented and fitted suits for order, a tiny jewelry store, a Mexican restaurant, a florists shop, a cell phone repair shop, an actual U.S. Cellular store, and finally a party store. Austin had no clue where we were going, but I did of course.

"I would ask, but knowing you, you'll tell me to wait and that I'll find out soon enough" Austin smiled weakly, and I returned a huge grin, because this boy did know me all too well.

"True" I shrugged as we got out of the car. I led him along the sidewalk before we walked right into the suit rental place.

"Hello there" the man at the register spoke formally.

"Hi" I said lightheartedly.

"I was wondering if we could get fitted today or do we need appointments." I smiled as Austin let his fingertips brush against my hand. I leaned into him slightly but didn't act on the fact that he was implying he wanted to hold my hand.

"Yes sir, let me get Laura, she's best at that" he smiled at us, letting his gaze sweep to our hands before almost bouncing out of the room.

"Jesus, did you see that? It's like gay guys are some sort of fetish for him" I joked as I looked up at Austin.

"You're something else" he giggled. "Now why are we here, and why am I apparently getting fitted." he asked curiously.

"Because I'm taking you to prom" and at that, just as I assumed, Austin tensed up. "Aus" I coaxed. "You said you'd come to terms with it." I reminded him.

"Yeah, but- I- That doesn't mean" he spluttered, his brow furrowed.

"If you don't want to I get it. Just tell me. But don't be so..." I searched for the right word without any luck.

"I get it. I'm sorry" he shook his head.

"Go to prom with me" I spoke before he could continue talking. He looked at me with pursed lips. "I used prom as an excuse at one point in time, but that's the past. Always remember trial and error. I'm gonna make this right, and I'm going to prom with my best friend or not at all" I told him simply.

"You're right, you're right." he resigned. "I'm not going to prom without my best friend either" he said as he let his shoulder bump mine.

"Good." I smiled as a woman came in the room, shooing away the man we originally spoke with.

She made quick work of fitting us and getting everything straight with what we wanted, and the dates and times and cost. Blah blah blah. We were told to come back closer to the date and she gave us her personal cell in case we had any questions et cetera. All was well.

Next I drug Austin to the jewelry store and he was very confused at this point, but I held his hand and forced him to come after me.

"Ashby!" called a deep voice as we stepped in.

"Lee!" I tried copying his tone I'm a joking manner.

He slid a small purple box across the counter and winked, and Austin paced behind me in short side to side steps in a manner that displayed his nervousness.

"Okay, now, when I said I was afraid of the commitment blah blah blah. Whatever shitty stuff I said, I think it's clear that all of that was one huge shitty lie." I confirmed. "So when I open this box, don't freak out. We both know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that every single amazing moment I'll ever have will probably include you. When I think about my future, you're the focal point. You're my future, and I promise you that it will never change. I'll never love anybody as much as I love you, and nobody will ever be so imperfectly perfect. Do you understand me, Austin Robert Carlile?" I spoke firmly and with an underlying tone of certainty.

"Yes, Alan Anthony Ashby" he teased as he stepped closer.

I opened the box to reveal two cute promise rings. They were black bands, but in thin elegant silver script, they both said "A Promise Is Forever" and our names were engraved in each.

"Oh god Alan" Austin said quietly. I couldn't tell if he'd reject me or not so I didn't turn around. I was hoping he had come to terms with it all and he understood that I did love him. I did. I knew he loved me. One hundred percent, but he doubted himself so often.

I stared at Lee who maintained eye contact with a blank face and I felt Austins arms slip around my waist. Lees face was enveloped by a huge grin as Austin pulled me against him.

"I know we were doing the whole 'coming to terms' with each other thing or whatever, but I can't keep my hands off of you" he told me as he reached out and picked up the one with his name engraved into it. He slid it onto his finger as I thanked Lee and grabbed the box, tossing promises of coming back to see him over my shoulder.

As soon as we were out of the door, Austin pushed me gently against the brick wall and let his breath sweep across the corner of my mouth. His lips found mine as he kissed me innocently. It had no chance of escalating. It was so soft and gentle, and so full of meaning that I felt like my heart would burst from my chest any second now.

"Austin" I breathed as he pulled away.

"I fucking love you" he said without even showing any interest in what I was going to say. That was fine by me though. My thought literally wasn't important. Not when he was saying things like that. "I really do. I don't see a future without you either. I just wanted you to know. High school sweethearts are the best kind. Do we count?" he grinned at me.

"Of course we count. Now shut up. I'm taking my king to get yogurt. Cliche huh?" I joked.

"Your king?" He laughed

"In an affectionate kind of way." I poked his side. "I'm not doing everything you tell me to. This is not an absolute monarchy. You're just a figurehead and I do what you ask judging on what it is and if I love you enough." I teased. "So I won't be doing a lot" I teased and he shoved me gently before pulling me back since his hand was latched onto mine.

"Shut up. Ginger" he sighed as we walked into the shop. Nobody was in there except the cashier, not that I cared much anyways, but as we approached the ice cream flavors I turned around just long enough to scoot my hands up to Austins forearms, rubbing them gently and as he glanced downwards at me, I leaned forward, standing on my tippy toes to press my lips against his.

"I love you" he spoke as I relaxed.

"I love you too" I said nonchalantly although those words meant the world to us both.

"You're never leaving me again" he said sternly, and I felt his arms snake around me tightly.

In the very beginning I knew we would work. I knew we would. We are gonna make it. The basic high school drama is gone. If we can just hold out a bit longer, it will be paradise.