It's Ok We Love Each Other

I blame no one but myself for the creation of this book. My friend helped but I wrote it mostly. This book is based off a true story.
For the record I do not encourage self harm of any kind, drinking, smoking, or drugs.

🌟 It's Ok We Love Each Other🌟

1 🌟

Unacceptable. Look it up, you'll see a picture of my family. My Dad was cheating on my mom for the third time with girls that are a year or two older than I, my two older brothers were getting into trouble, Devon was up for a felony this time and Josh had just barely escaped one, both have been in and out of jail, and everyone was always yelling at each other, peaceful right? I stayed upstairs in my room and would just brood over how much I loathed living in that hell house. I don't clearly remember when the fire started burning or what caused it, or who was the one to pour the gasoline on the flames, but whatever happened, it snowballed way out of proportion to the point where all we could do was watch our life's slowly burn to ashes. I remember when I was younger and they'd fight. I would run up to my room and seclude myself. Then I'd start crying and rocking back and forth covering my ears in an attempt to block everything out. Apparently that's not normal for a 5 year old. So, my parents took me into counseling. The therapist suggested they spend time with me. The next thing I knew, I was in an expensive outfit in front of some guy with a camera. At first I was shy, but then I loved the attention I got from the photographer and the assistances thought I was cute. Thus a baby model was born. As I grew up more (10-13) My parents started getting me into some big name model companies. I was famous to the point where I was in magazines and on tv a few times. The media said I had a huge chance if only I were taller... They adjusted for me but the altercations were really expensive. Then companies wouldn't hire me because of my height. That's when the arguments started up again and I stopped modeling for a while. Then the incident happened. One day mom came home from the doctors completely distraught. She started drinking. And wouldn't tell us what was wrong. So I went back into my room and would lock myself away up there again. I listened to music and sang to myself. I found out I was great at it when my family would stop and listen to me. I was afraid to sing all the time because I didn't want them to get used to it. So, I only sang when the arguing was unbearable. Then one day I was like, I wanna write while I sing. I found out I was ok at that when I wrote, sang, and played my first song. That was the year I got my first and only guitar. They didn't fight for like three days, It was amazing. It was like even my talents couldn't keep it together though. I would come home with certificates, metals, trophies, awards of all kinds from gymnastics, state championships from soccer, volleyball, choir, writing awards, I would come home with all these great and amazing achievements and they just didn't care. It would cause them to fight over who hurt my feelings because I was younger and would cry. I'm older now and over it but still it sucks. Mom started drinking a shit load more than usual ever since the incident, and even more when the boys started getting in trouble. I guess that's how it started, the unspoken problem started the fire in the living room. It could've been stopped though if only we got help to stop it. She used to drink so much that she would come home and abuse me and tell me all of my faults and that I wasn't "ever gonna be good enough." It kinda lowered my self esteem and confidence. If I tried to do anything about it, she just drank more and got more angry and violent and lowered me more. Sometimes to the point where I was nothing. By the time she was home and abusing me, dad was out 'working' his hoes, so I stopped having functional parents at 12. Go figure right? Lol fun times but not really. I only had my brothers to protect me from her wrath. I guess my dad just saw my mom deteriorating from drinking, or they lost that lust they had because they were so busy trying to keep my brothers out of trouble, that my dad started sleeping with other girls. Whatever the case may have been, I don't trust my parents as far as I can throw them. They've lied and hurt me too much. They're just kinda there because they have to be or else the state would take us away. That actually didn't sound bad at the time... I had to take care of myself. They didn't do anything except provide the money to help me do so. I started drinking and getting high a few months back but I did and now I don't have a problem. I only started up because I wanted attention and when that didn't work, I slit my wrist at 12. My parents were to busy to care. That's when I knew I wouldn't model again. I've tried to get some attention other ways but I stopped after I cut my hair because it wasn't doing anything. So I just ignored them all.