A little too broken (boyxboy)

Chapter 22

Chap 22

He knew his father had seen him and Andrew. The drive home was devastatingly silent. It wasn't even an awkward silence. It was a fearful one. He didn't dare speak up because he dreaded what would happen if he spoke up. He had no idea how his dad was going to react but he knew it wouldn't be good.

Oliver tried to walk up the stairs to his bedroom but his father called him down.

"Oliver come to the lounge, now!"
He sounded angry.

Oliver's breathing became unsteady. His heart beat like a shattered drum.

"I don't want you seeing that Andrew boy again." 

"Because why dad?"

"Because I'm afraid he's going to influence you. Try and make you -well you know."

"I don't know dad, why?" For some reason Oliver had some newfound confidence. It was probably from all the anger he felt at his dad for telling him to stop seeing Andrew.

"He might make you gay."

"And why is that dad?"

"Well I walked in on him kissing you on the cheek. Look I'm not saying I don't feel bad for the boy. I do. It's just what he's doing is a sin. Being gay isn't right in the eyes of God. I just don't want him to make you gay, that's all. You understand don't you?"

"Well it's a little too late dad, I kind of already am gay. And it's not his fault. I've always been like this. And he just attempted suicide and you want me to leave him?" His father looked horrified. He knew he should've felt scared but all he felt was anger.

"Get out! Get out of my house you disgusting faggot. Leave! I want you out." He was shocked. That was the one reaction he didn't anticipate. He looked to Hilda for support, who had been sitting next to his father. It seemed however that her allegiance was to her husband and she said nothing.

And that's how he found himself on a bus to the one place he knew he'd be accepted. His grandmothers house. He saw her white walls and knew he'd be lived here. He knocked on her door and when she opened it he fell apart.

"They - they - they kicked me out. I came out and they kicked me out. Please can I stay here. Please-" he was sobbing and struggling to get his words out. It felt like they were caught in his throat.

"Calm down child. Of course you can stay here. Calm down. You'll be okay. It'll be okay."

She let him in and took his bags. He told him everything that had happen. Even the part with Andrew attempting to commit suicide. Then he went on about everything happening in Andrews life. His father, his mothers drinking, his anxiety, his voices and the bullying.

"I just care about him so much Gogo and I would give up the world for him to be okay."

"I see you love this boy a lot. But how are you? How are you dealing with his attempted suicide. You haven't talked about your own feelings. And how are you dealing with your parents kicking you out. You haven't talked about that either. Personally I think what your father did was repulsive."

"I guess at first I was angry at him. But then in a way, I was angry at myself. If I hadn't said anything then maybe I'd still have a home to go to. Maybe if I wasn't gay I wouldn't be seen as a problem. I'm  still pretty shaken up by the fact that my own father just kicked me out.

With Andrew I was just devastated. I broke things and destroyed my room. Gogo I was a wreck, I couldn't handle it."

"Well I'm sorry Oliver. I only hope that he gets better and that you don't mind making this your home."

"Of course not Gogo." He chuckled lightly. It had always felt not like home there for him anyway.

"But now there's something else I want to talk about."

"What is it?" He asked very confused. Had they not just talked about it all.

"You don't eat. The last time you barely touched half your plate. I know you are something but it was just so little. And that was the most I've seen you eat in a very long time. You always say you've eaten at home, but I'm beginning to suspect that it wasn't ever true was it?"

His heart stopped for the millionth time that day.

"No it wasn't true." He barely managed.

"Oliver why?"

"I haven't eaten much ever since mum died. And it got worse when dad married Hilda. I felt like I lost control and I needed something, so I stopped eating. I eat very little but enough to keep me alive. I thought I had control of it, but lately it feels like its controlling me. I can't eat anything. I dread meals. My life revolves around food and I don't even eat it. I can barely stand some days. I get so tired all the time now."

"Have you ever made yourself sick?"

He looked down ashamed but didn't say anything. Tears ran down his face.

"Oh Oliver." She sounded so distressed my. She held him as he began to cry again.

"I need help Gogo. I really do."I