As soon as I heard the news I rushed past Nicole trying to get to my grandmother fast. I didn't even realize how I broke into a sprint running into the night, I just knew I had to see her. I was actually only in socks, shorts, and a sweatshirt, I don't know how I ran so fast in this chilly breeze.
My running was soon stopped when I felt an arm yank my hand forcing me to the culprit. It was Devon. Instead of anger and authority that was in his pull he had a worried concerned face.
"Mia, you need to come with us." He said gesturing to Nicole who was sitting in the passenger seat of his car. She looked distressed, awful, her hair looked like she just woke up but somehow she managed to keep calm. Me and Nicole are opposites at that. As soon as something bad happens I rush to the source not even having an idea on what I will do when I get there while Nicole on the other hand is still worried and concerned but keeps it bottled up and thinks before she does something.
"Let go of me!" I yell trying to snatch my arm away but he keeps a tight hold and starts dragging me away despite my kicking and screaming and cry for help.
He puts me in the backseat and gets in the driver seat as he drives off to the hospital. When we get out of the car and in the hospital we run into an issue.
"Excuse me! What gives you the right to say I can't see my grandmother!" I yell at the receptionist
"It is past visiting hours, Mam please relax." She says trying to get me to relax, but it only angers me
"Don't fucking tell me to relax! You just don't-" I yell at the women but cut off.
"Can you just let her see her grandma, its only for a few minutes." Devon says in a demanding voice. The women gave a quiet nod and said room 347.
When we got up to the room I saw my grandmother laying on the bed, my grandfather was actually in the chair right next to her sleeping. When we got closer she put a finger to her mouth indicating for us to be quiet. I gave Devon and Nicole a look which they obviously knew because they left the room.
"Im so sorry for everything grandma, I didn't mean to be disrespectful and disobey you but I didn't have a choice. You and grandad gave me no space to be an adult, I shouldn't of disrespect your wishes but in the end I'm maturing and I have a life." I said starring at her for a few minutes.
"Please say something!" I beg, but she doesn't reply. That's when I notice she can't. She isn't able to speak from the stroke.
Then she raises her right hand and forms it in the shape of half a heart, why didn't she raise her left hand if it was closer? But then I realized how the right part of her body was responsive while her left wasn't. I didn't question it further and raised my left hand filling in the other half of the heart and joining our hands together. She cracks a smile but then it falls and then I hear 'BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP'
I was frozen, I couldn't move, I had no emotion, all I could remember was her hand dropping down and doctors rushing in while Devon came in and led me out of the room.
When I got home it was like I couldn't do anything for myself, I couldn't change, walk, talk. I was mute and frozen. When I would go to bed Devon would try to comfort me but I always smacked his hand away not even making eye contact and layed down facing opposite of Devon. That whole night I didn't sleep but think either. It was like my life was on halt.
***
This has went on for 2 weeks, me not being independent and me being mute and frozen. Devon and Nicole tried their best to comfort me talk to me, but the only real thing I let them do for me was feed me since I couldn't even manage doing a simple thing like that.
"I'm going out for a while." Devon said facing me, "Are you sure you will be okay?" He ask, but I don't reply. "Nicole will be here in a little while." He says, while I just stare at him. He nods understanding me and sighs before walking out the door.
I sat there for about 10 minutes, but then I snapped out of it. What am I doing? I am being mute and frozen about my grandmothers death yet I never shed a tear. She was basically my mother the reasonable one, the one who was there for me when none of my parents were. I guess my life is just so fucked up and everyone I love is being taken away from me. But then I remember Devon.
Devon has been nothing but nice to me this whole 2 weeks. He hasn't forced me to tell him whats wrong with me, he hasn't forced me to stop being frozen and mute but instead he sat there with me and comforted me even when I wouldn't accept it. He never gave up and stuck with me even though I had a messed up life.
Then I think about Nicole, even though she hasn't been here as much as Devon she has been with me through all hard times. Break ups, when I was sick, in trouble, etc. And this time she put all her college trips to a halt, put her part time job and school work aside because of me. I owe them both everything.
Now my grandmothers death wasn't as upsetting to me anymore, there are more people I am hurting by being frozen and mute. Devon and Nicole has always been there for me and who will my Grandpa have? He has no one.
This was the first time I cried after my grandmothers death.
Then the door slammed open, I didn't bother looking up but the person ran to me and quickly draped their arms over me. "Its okay, Its gonna be okay." Nicole said as I broke into sobs.
***
That day when I finished sobbing and stuff, I decided to hang out with Nicole. I owed her for neglecting her all this time. We went out to eat, the movies, shopping whatever she wanted to do.
When I got home I was tired, from hanging out with Nicole. Trust me, the girl could shop and buy tons of stuff with hands full of shopping bags but she always finds room for more. She is never satisfied. But I couldn't be tired because I had a surprise for Devon.
I decided I was finally gonna give it up.
