Sorry Darling, I'm Not Gonna Fall Head Over Heels For You.

Chapter 5

Been watching a TONNE of Daria lately. So if I slip in a few sarcastic jokes here and there, you'll know why. Is it scary that when I'm typing this I'm reading it in Jane and Daria's voice? Oh and the dedications are still up for grabs. Yeah, anyway, you probably don't want to read about my life..go read something a little more interesting. Here you go.

"So..Tyler, what are you gonna do?" I shrugged.

How was I supposed to know? My mind remained blank. Black, actually. Now I was wondering why my mind was black when it was blank. Oh, and now my mind isn't blank. How insightful.

"Tyler, are you okay?" Mel said in a tone of worry.

I nodded. This time, I actually started thinking about what I was going to do. So..most of the people at this party were either pretty or popular and I really needed something that would scare the shits out of them.

"And what can I say? I have no idea what to do." I said, voicing my thoughts out loud.

Mel gave me a strange look and the guy -- whose name I was yet to know -- to my surprise, grinned.

"What are you smiling about?" I said, glaring at him.

"Well, I was just thinking that if this was troubling you, I could offer some assistance in brainstorming some ideas." he explained, popping his glasses on.

I was about to accept but then I felt my stomach jerk in disagreement. Oh yeah, it would stain my pride.

"No thanks, genius. I'd rather not accept help from someone like you." I muttered, almost haughtily.

He smirked and then turned around. Mel slapped me on the back, very hard. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Oh, way to go Tyler! You know just the way to be friendly!" she said sarcastically.

I momentarily glared at her before seriously thinking about the prank. A few ideas ran through my head and it was hard to keep track of all of them.

Suddenly, it hit me.

"Mel, I think I've got the perfect plan." I exclaimed.

Her mouth slightly moved but other than that, she showed no sign of interest. I shrugged it off as her way of saying 'Congratulations' or whatever.

"Shoot me." Mel said, as enthusiastic as ever.

Her sarcasm has really started to infect me, hasn't it? And I can't even decide whether that's good or bad.

"Well, we could tell them the police are coming or..we could have a little fun digging up some..secrets." I said, a malicious smile forming on my lips.

"Second one sounds good." Mel said, a little enthusiam showing up on her expression.

The guy in the room stopped browsing on whatever he was and showed a hint of interest. "Count me in." he murmured.

"Well, throw in what you know about anyone in this party." I said.

Mel stroked her chin. "Hmm..I do know that Peter Richards picks his nose daily in English. And it gets worse. He sticks it under the table and then he licks his fin-"

"I think we've got enough on him. Must be painful to watch." I gagged.

"I do know a bit on my brother. He's dating this girl called Mimi at the moment and he's also dating ten other girls who are also at this party. So we could use that to get the girls to go all crazy on him."

I took that into consideration. "Wait..who's your brother?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Calvin Meriwether."

That name swirled in my mind for a few seconds. "So you must be Levon Meriwether!"

"Yup, that's me." he replied.

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"Are you ready?" I said, clutching the microphone.

Mel grinned. "Yes, I am. Let's rock and roll!"

I put my lips to the mic and excitement rushed through my veins.

"Why hello there. I hope you're having fun. If not, how am I meant to ruin your day?" I said mischieviously.

Everyone stopped partying and shifted their heads uncomfortably, trying to find out where the voice was from.

I chuckled at them. "And here we are, it's time to start 'Oh no, you didn't'! The corner where you find out about the deepest, darkest secrets."

The party started murmuring and Mel just laughed at their nervous expressions. She took over the mic and sat down on the seat next to me.

"And who is our lucky victim? Hmm..what about Sam Quinton? Dun dun dun." she said, doing a fail drum roll.

"Did you know that hotshot Sam Quinton actually has stage fright? In second grade, a boy pulled down his pants while he was performing a play and ever since then..no more stage for Sam."

Through the computer screen we saw Sam cower in embarrassment and dash out of the front door.

Mel and I just laughed. Oh, this felt good.

I clutched the mic in my hands and said, "Time to embarrass Declan Williams. Captain of the footy team, you'd think he'd know how to kick right? But did you know his legs are both fake? Maybe that's why most of the time he stands on the side of the court and yells at his teammates."

Declan gulped and rushed into the bathroom where he thought he was safe. I could hear the faint yells of 'Phony' coming from some of the members of the footy team.

"Oh, it's not over yet. This one's for the girls. Calvin Meriwether. Host of this party. Current girlfriend: Mimi." I said.

"And guess what? There's also Penelope, Yvonne, Georgina, Irene, Nicole, Angela and all other girls at this party. Tells you something about trusting guys, doesn't it?" Mel finished.

We laughed manically as the girls each shoved Calvin in the own way. A slap, a kick, a punch or even a whack with their purse.

Soon enough, the rest of the party started spitting and hitting Calvin. They yelled at him with all sorts of names: disgusting, nasty, sick, selfish. Nothing he didn't deserve, of course. We watched as Calvin struggled to get off the ground and plopped himself on the couch.

He grabbed the bottle of wine near him and gulped it down, sighing.

"Mum's coming. Time to escape." the guy said, popping his head through the door.

Mel and I jumped up and dashed to his room. I climbed onto the window sill and jumped out, landing perfectly.

"I always knew I was a ninja." I muttered to myself, earning a laugh from both of them.

Thanks for reading! :)

No harm intended for those who have stage fright or fake legs. I know you guys go through a lot already, this chapter isn't trying to insult you guys but I'm showing how wicked Tyler and Mel are and it's part of their personalities that they don't really care for other people. So, if you were hurt by any of this, I apologise.

VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE! <3