Rasasvada//MGC

Chapter 1

The slight sensation of something touching my cheek made me wake up to see Michael smiling like a child. I groaned and pushed him off me while sitting up and stretching. "You know you look younger than you already are when you're sleeping. Did you know that?" Michael giggled annoying me. I forgot that after our movie cuddle session last night I never made it back up to my room. My mind was still clouded with the thoughts of last night. You see, I've been friends with Michael for four years and I don't think me having a crush on him would go over well. Besides, there's plenty of other girls he probably likes and I just think I like him. "Hey Rose, I have a question," Michael said playing with my hair. "Yeah?" I said . "You know since you have really bad anxiety and you don't like being alone.... I thought maybe you would want to join me and the boys on tour. Calum misses you alot,"Michael asked. I let out a sigh as I stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "Mikey I would love too but you know how I get when I travel,I'll just be a burden," I said washing the glasses we dirtied. I heard him sigh as he reached around me to turn the water off. He rested his hands on my waist before talking again. "You know that would never happen right? Ashton was pretty impressed with how you wrote. Luke liked the fact that you were quiet and Calum thought you were hot. You wouldn't bother us Rose. I'll always be with you," He said swaying us. Maybe it would be a good idea to get away for awhile. "Okay I guess," I said giving in. Michael yelled in my ear and dragged me upstairs throwing my suitcase out and grabbing clothes. Three days later and it was time for me to join Michael on tour. It was about five am and he was sprinting through the airport looking for food. I took this as the perfect opportunity to catch up on my writing. There has been so much on my mind lately, that I figured writing would help me figure it out. As hard as I tried I still couldn't get the feeling of me liking Michael out of my head. I mean I've never dated anyone let alone thought about someone the way I think about Michael. He's so beautiful yet annoying. He puts so much emotion behind every thing that he sings how can you not help but fall in love with him? I was aimlessly writing out all my feelings until someone burped in my ear. "MICHAEL CLIFFORD!" I yelled shutting my notebook. Michael cheesily smiled while offering me some chicken nuggets. "You're actually sharing your food with me? I'm honored," I gasped. "Listen shit head. Take it or leave it," He sassed shoving them in his mouth. I scooted farther over in the seat leaving Michael with his airport nuggets.

My nerves started acting up when we started to board the plane and I was shaking uncontrollably. I dropped my ticket while trying to hand it to the lady and she looked at me like I was a child. Come on Rosalie pull yourself together. It's just a flight, Michael's with you . Yeah, just focus on that. Michael is here so nothing can hurt you. "Babe chill you're gonna be okay,"Michael said nudging my shoulder. I looked up at him to his green eyes full of worry. I nodded my head and started walking ahead of him. Once we got on the plane and into the seats I began feeling like I was about to have a panic attack. Michael was cracking jokes beside me but it didn't help as I was on the verge of tears. The flight attendant announced that we were taking off and I pulled my knees up to my chest. Tears began flowing down my face as I silently tried to calm myself down without worrying Michael. A small hand was rubbing circles on my back as quiet sobs racked through my body. "Shh. It's okay I promise you nothing's going to happen to you. Breathe just focus on me," Michael whispered pulling my face towards his. I was still crying as Michael kept eye contact with me trying calm me down. "If you wanted to hold my hand all you to do was ask babe,"Michael laughed. I looked down to see my hand laced with his. I pulled my hand away and looked out the window for the rest of the trip. Once we landed in London we got our stuff, grabbed a quick lunch and headed off to the hotel. Michael knocked on the door with his foot while I hid behind him. Calum threw the door open yelling Michael's name before tackling him in a hug. I stepped back a bit trying not to be hit. "Oh hey Rosalie,"Calum said giving me a hug. Michael looked offended but shook it off as we walked into the room. Michael and the boys started playing xbox so I snuck off to the balcony to clear my mind. It wasn't like I was mad that Michael wasn't paying attention to me it just hurt a little. I can't like him and I won't. Something is bound to go wrong because he's my best friend. I heard the door open and heard someone shuffling over to where I was sitting. "Hey you okay?" Calum asked handing me a blanket. "I want nothing. I just want the emptiness to mean something," I said looking at him. Confusion washed over Calum's face as he tried to figure out what I meant. "I don't know anymore. I've thought about it for a while and I don't think it's a phase anymore. I actually like Michael and I don't know how to deal with this. How do you deal with liking someone who will never like you back?" I said fiddling with the blanket. It was quiet for a few minutes a gentle breeze moving the silence around. "You know,"Calum sighed, "You don't know how someone feels until you ask them." I was just about to reply when Michael stepped outside. Michael looked at how close Calum and I were sitting a rolled his eyes before scooting him over. "Hey Cal. Can I talk to Rosalie. In private. ," Michael asked adding emphasize on the word private. Calum nodded and then it was just the two of us and a blanket. We didn't talk for the longest time. The cool London breeze was thick and unnerving as Michael stared at the city while I kept stealing glances at him. "What's your favorite word?" He asked still not looking at me. That's easy it would be you if you were a word. Okay no that doesn't make any sense. "Rasasvada. It means the taste of bliss in the absence of all thoughts," I blushed feeling ashamed. "That's cute. Why that word?" He asked standing up and going over to the balcony. "I find comfort when I'm at a loss for words. It's something I enjoy-" "Why won't you just date Calum? I'm getting sick of watching you guys flirt for the past 8 months," Michael interrupted looking at me. I gave him a confused look before he started again. "You think I don't see what you text him? I have to deal with knowing something's going on between you guys," he yelled stepping closer to me. "Michael please calm down. Nothing is going on between Calum and I. You don't understand," I said trying to justify myself. Wait how does he know what I text Calum. "Wait how do you know what I text Calum?" I asked getting mad. Michael turned away from me and looked out at the city. I grabbed the blanket and turned around walking towards the door "What is it? I mean what does he have?!," Michael yelled grabbing my wrist. "Nothing Michael! He has nothing. Nothing is going on between us. We are just friends like you and me. We are nothing more. Now snap out of it," I replied getting out of his grasp and walking back inside. The door slammed behind me as I met three confused faces "Rosa-" "Please just don't. I really don't want to talk about it. Where's my room?" I said wrapping the blanket around me looking down. Ash gently put his hand on my back guiding me down the hall to mine and Michael's room. "What happened?" Ashton asked closing the door pulling me into a hug. "We got in an argument... I just really don't want to talk about it Ashton I'm sorry," I said pulling away. He nodded and closed the door. The room felt eerie and full of emotion. Michael and I just had our first fight over Calum? It was Michaels fault to be fair I didn't do anything wrong. Okay Rosalie just go to bed it's been a long day Mikey will probably blow it off and everything will be okay or I could lock the door and make him stay with the boys. With that I locked the door and face planted on the bed trying to drown out my worries.