words for the wind

IV

wrecked

you haunt my dreams.

and every time I close my eyes, I see you dancing in the darkness.

so now I sleep with the lights on.

I've only ever wanted you and finally I succeeded.

but I didn't expect to be ruined like I was.

your hollow eyes still haunt me.

and I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend what you did to me.

because you completely and perfectly destroyed everything I once was.

and I can never hope to recover.

my biggest mistake was letting myself fall in love with you.

I so easily fell in love with your warm skin and cold eyes.

I fell in love with your raging mind and untamed heart.

and now that I look back on it, I think maybe you were

trying to protect me from every dark secret you hid inside.

but I never listened, nor did I care.

because I thought as long as I had you,

everything would be okay.

but I was so naive to think that.

and I wish I could go back and understand how

wrecked and demolished your beautiful mind really was.

but I wonder, would it have even mattered?

was I ever sufficient enough to heal you?

I laugh at how foolish the thought is.

because we all know, you were so far beyond repair that

no one could save you from yourself.