words for the wind

XI

don't blame me

i didn't mean to but i fell for you. i fell in love with the whiskey on your breath and the smoke in your veins. i was entranced in you even when your eyes were glazed over and you couldn't walk straight.

and i can tell you want more than this. you're so empty with loneliness and desperation that you're convinced that the alcohol and cigarettes help. you use me to try to forget and even though i know you don't think it means anything, it's so much more to me than you'll ever know.

as you lay next to me i watch the smoke sink into the pores of your skin and you look up searching for more.

you roll away and sit on the edge of the bed and grab the bottle taking a swig. slowly shrugging your clothes on and stumbling towards the door. and i try to ignore the intense pain in me and the stinging in my eyes. but i hate that you would rather have liquor in your veins than my desperate love in your tired eyes.

you told me not to blame you for what you said while you were drunk. i told you not to blame me when I fall in love with the dark side of you.