My Only One ●NovaHD●

03.

Everything was great; everything was perfect. I was getting on brilliantly with everyone and everything seemed back to normal. My friendships had never been better, but when I had asked Joe about my love life he seemed to be hesitant. I figured there was something I wasn't being told but realised I probably wasn't being informed of it for a reason.
Maybe I had got my heart broken by someone and he didn't want me to feel bad about it or feeI had l some form of 'heart ache', I think it's called. Dropping it was probably the best idea do that's what I had done.
Life was feeling better than ever and nothing could stop my neverending joy. I knew that I usually wasn't that joyful but I guess that's because I had never stared death right in the eye, said, "Fuck you.", survived and continued on as if nothing ever happened before.
I started my usual routine; wake up, have a shower and wash, get dressed, eat my breakfast and then check if Aleks is going to the office. This day he wasn't going, which didn't suprise me as he hadn't been going in lately. He said he didn't like the computer he had in the office and that he had some thinking to do. I honestly didn't really care if he went into the office or not, I got to see him at home anyway and he we still doing his job and creating content for his channel so why should I have?
Aleks not going into the office for the day meant that I had to text someone to ask if they could give me a ride to work or, wait until someone called to texted asking if I wanted picked up on their way in, which was a usual thing due to Aleks lack of presence in the office building.
I sat on the grey, soft, fabric couch that lay in our living room and within a few minutes of watching T.V I had recieved a text message. I checked the sender, who was Eddie, before reading the message. It read, 'Hey, Aleks said last night that he wasn't coming in. Wanna lift?'.
I quickly typed out my responce, which was a simple 'Yeah', and hit the send key.
It took a few minutes for him to reply but soon enough I had a message in my inbox that stated that he would be picking me up in a few minutes.
I continued to watch whatever shitty morning television show that was one at that moment until I heard what sounded like a car pull up into the drive way of our house. I grabbed my keys and slammed the front door on my way out, not reakky caring about waking Aleksandr up for the second time that day - the first being when I asked him if he was going to the office that day.
As I climbed into the passenger seat of the car the man in the driver seat let out a loud giggle as he pointed up to Aleks' bedroom window.
"Look.", was the only word he spoke as he giggled uncontrollably.
I must have woke my Russian friend as I could see his hand poking past his black-out blinds. And surely enough, he was flipping me off for waking him from his slumber for the second time within an hour.
Sly back the car out of the drive wy as he told me that we were going to get coffee before heading to the office.
On the way, to where I pressumed was going to be 'Starbucks', in an attempt to strike up a conversation he asked, "How are you and Aleks?".
Now this simple question completely baffled me, I was beyond confused as to why he would ask it. Why would he ask why I was with Aleks? I mean Aleks was my friend but so was everyone else. Why would he just aske about how I was with Aleks? Why would he not just ask how I was with everyone? Why was my relationship with Aleks more special than my relationship with the rest of the guys (and girls)?
"What do you mean?", was the only question I could think to ask at the time.
He began to laugh but as he flicked his eyes away from the road to look at me he noticed the look of genuine confusion in my face and stopped.
His expression chnaged to one very similar to what many people would call, 'a deer in the headlights' and the only thing he said was, "Oh shit.".
"What were you talking about?", I wanted - no - needed to know what he was suggesting between Aleks and I.
"I can't tell you if you don't alread know what I'm talking about.", he sounded as though he actually wanted to tell me but something, or someone, was holding him back from doing so. His speech was also close to a whisper which was very suprising seeing as he is usually as loud as me, if not louder.
"If you don't tell what you were referring to I might just have to ask Aleksandr myself.", I didn't take any pride or joy in blackmailing him but it had to be done or I would never have known the piece of information that changed my whole life.
"If I tell you this you can't tell anyone you know, especially Aleks, got that?", he was vey hesitant to give the information I craved so badly but he handed it over easier than I though he would.
I nodded toward him before realising that his eyes were focused on the road so he couldn't see me. I mumbled a quick, "Yeah, I got it.", hoping he didn't realise my mistake n nodding at him.
"Before everything happened and you went into a coma you and Aleks were... Well, you guys had been together for about a year and a half. You both were head over heels in love and crazy about each other. You were both considering proposing to one another when gay marriage was legalised but then you know...", the bearded man rambled on continuously but I found the information quite hard to take in.
I had just found out that Aleks was not just my friend like he had said he was; he was my boyfriend, my partner, my lover. However you put it, it was significatly more than just a 'friend'. Why would he have lied? Why did he say that we were only 'friends'? Ugh, 'friends', I now hated the label with a burning passion. Had he not loved me anymore? Had he wanted out of the apprently great relationship we used to have? There were so many questions flowing through my brain that I wanted to ask him but I knew I couldn't, for Eddie's sake.
I felt like complete and utter shit, there was no other way to describe it. I loved this man so much that I was willing to propose to him but when something happens and I can remember out love, instead of helping me feel it again or even trying, he backs out? What. An. Asshole.
"Why didn't he say anything?", my voice was powerless; it lacked confidence, passion, it's usual orotund tone. It was now wobbly, tremuluous, tight, sotto voce, dead, toneless, quavering, brittle, it wasn't me.
"I honestly don't know.", his voice showed how sorry he felt for me but I didn't want his pity.
Just like I didn't want to give up on Aleks.