heart strings

chapter 12

Jack's POV

I harshly knocked on the door. My stomach was churning and I fiddled with my fingers.

I heard footsteps and the door slowly swung open.

I didn't know what I was expecting. It was my mom, she had the same striking blue eyes and short, skinny frame.

I felt breathless and she smiled at me. "Sean..."

I held back tears. I needed to be stern.

"Why did you want to see me?" I asked briskly.

She looked startled for a moment. What was she expecting? A hug and kiss?

"Uh, yes well, I just wondered how you were doing. I heard you got married and..." She trailed off, glancing up at me and seeing my death stare.

I was struggling to keep my cool. "Why didn't you tell me?" I could feel the rage boiling inside of me.

"Tell you what?..." My mom asked softly.

I waited for her to answer, but she just looked at me confused.

I felt something inside me snap. All the rage built up over the last few days came spewing out.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU BLOODY TELL ME THAT YOU WERE F*CKING ALIVE?!" I screamed.

My mom jumped and then looked surprised.

"Well, I thought you knew."

Waves of anger traveled throughout my body.

"You made a real shit attempt at contacting me." I said through gritted teeth.

She tried to make up an excuse. "I-I thought you wouldn't want to be bothered?..."

I held back a scream. "You-..." My entire body was shaking.

"You were the one person I could always turn to when I needed help. You were the one person in that hell hole I loved."

I felt tears spring to my eyes. "I guess you don't love me anymore."

I could see her heart breaking. I didn't care. She already broke mine a long time ago.

"N-no Sean that isn't how could you think that I-I don't love you?" My mom was full blown crying now.

I was numb and felt no sympathy to the woman who ruined my life. "I resorted to drugs. I was alone. You left me."

She shook her head like she didn't want to believe it. "My baby-"

I gritted my teeth "I am NOT your baby."

"You were supposed to be dead, and you should stay that way." I snapped at her. "Don't bother contacting me again."

She didn't say a word as I spun on my heel and walked out the door.

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I had barely gotten to the bus stop when I felt my stomach drop. I felt light headed.

Something happened at home.

I fumbled for my phone and as soon as I grabbed my phone, it began to ring. I put the phone to my ear as my stomach was churning.

I heard a sniffle and a small timid voice say "Daidi?..."

Dad.

I knew it was Trina. "Trina baby, what's wrong?"

She sniffed and spoke in a quavering voice. "I-I was just doing h-homework and I wanted to ask him a q-question a-and..."

Trina started to cry again. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Shhh baby it's ok, tell me what happened."

"W-well I came downstairs and s-saw him laying there on the g-ground."

"Who?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Dad." Trina sniffled.

I fought back tears as I felt my heart crumble to pieces.

"He-he looked d-dead... I didn't know what to do s-so I called 911..."

I felt hot tears run down my cheeks.

How did I get so lucky?

"You are such a brave girl. I'm coming home as soon as possible. Stay strong until I get there ok?"

Trina sniffed once more. "Ok daidi I love you."

"Love you too baby. See you soon."

I hung up and started to sob.

Why me?
Why Mark?
Don't die on me Mark. I need you.