heart strings

chapter 15

Mark's POV
I fucking wished I was dead so that none of this would be a problem.
I wouldn't have to put everyone through all that cancer shit just to die and leave them worn down, sad and broke.
I couldn't think of anything worse that could happen to me.
I decided I couldn't tell Jack. Yet, anyway. He was too fragile and emotional.
This news would wreck him. He's probably a mess right now.
I should send for him.
I miss him.
Jack's POV
After what felt like eons, the dillweeds that work at the hospital FINALLY let me see him.
"Trina baby, stay here for a sec and I'll be right back ok?"
She nodded.
Trina has always been a trooper.
The nurse told me the room and I took off running.
I couldn't get there fast enough.
I found the room, M26 and I crashed through the door, not caring if he was asleep.
"MARK!" I cried.
And there he was, looking very fragile and tired.
I began to cry. I don't know if I was relieved, sad that he was in the hospital or both.
Mark slowly opened his eyes, (I guess he was dozing) and they widened with joy.
"SEAN!" he cried hoarsely.
I dashed to him and flung my arms around him.
It felt so good to be back in his arms. I inhaled his scent, never wanting to forget it. I look up through my tears and I saw that he was crying too.
Mark's POV
Holy hell I never realized how much I missed this man until I had him in my arms again.
There was so much I wanted to say to him, that I couldn't.
Jack looked up and me and saw that, I too, was crying.
He slowly brought up his hand and gently brushed away my tears. I grabbed his hand and kissed it.
"What did I do to deserve someone as amazing as you?" Jack whispered.
I felt the guilt mildly stab me.
"Mark, I am so, so, sorry for what I said to you-"
I tried to cut him off
"No, no it's-"
Jack stopped me and shook his head. "Let me finish. I acted out wrongly. I should have handled it better. You didn't deserve to be put through that. I cut off ties with my mom, we don't have to worry about her. I love you."
My hear strings were being pulled. Frick me, I love this man.
Jack's POV
"Please forgive me," I finished. It felt good to get that off my chest. I felt like shite for the longest time. Mark gave me a tired, cocky grin. "How could I stay mad and not forgive my lil' green bean?"
I cracked a smile and pecked him on the lips. "So no more momma drama?" Mark asked. I gave a small laugh.
"No, I don't think it's right for her to be in my life, I've moved on past her and all of my past." "That's so good babe." Mark said.
There was a silence. I absentmindedly rubbed his hand. I broke the silence.
"So, do you mind telling me why you ended up here?"
Mark glanced down at me.
"Well, I guess I passed out. Not the first time that it's happened..." he trailed off lost in thought while I absorbed what he just said.
I could feel the concern flicker across my face. "Mark, when has this happened and you never told me?"
He paused.
"Not much since we've been together. Just... A couple times." he said hesitantly.
"Mark. You need to tell me these things, I care about you."
"Yea, I just didn't want you to worry and besides, none of them have been as bad as this one." Mark finished.
My heart sank for him.
"Why? Why does this happen?" I asked gently.
Mark's POV
The more I thought about it the more it made sense. The passing out, getting sick a lot, and feeling drained constantly.
At least things made sense for once.
"Why? Why does this happen?" Jack asked me gently. His eyes were wide and full of compassion and sadness. For me.
Fuck this.
I can't lie to him.
I swallowed hard. I felt myself break into a sweat and my throat felt extremely dry.
"Uh," I cleared my throat.
"Consistent low blood sugar. That's all."
What? Why did I say that? What the hell?
I guess I couldn't do it.
I couldn't break Jack.
Not now and probably not ever.