A Christmas Miracle | Malum

16

"I-"

"How could you? Do you understand how much courage I had to build up to come over here the other night when everyone was asleep and give you something you most likely wouldn't want?! I would have rather you had told me you didn't like it right then and there instead of just - instead of just throwing away something that I thought would mean the world to you."

"It did mean the world to me, Mikey. I just couldn't wear it."

"Why?!"

"Stop questioning me, Michael. Okay? I can't keep listening to your ignorant questions. I understand I'm confusing and that I never make sense but there are these emotions and feelings that I'm hiding and trying to hold inside and you just don't see it. You're so focused on your own heartbreak that you don't even notice you're not the only one crumbling to pieces. I hate what I'm doing to you and I don't know why I am, but I can't just sit here and wear a sweater of someone I keep playing with."

Michael was frowning at this point. Tonight was supposed to be nice, it was just a small event that Calum needed a date for, they were going to go out for sandwiches and ice cream later because they enjoyed eating weird combination meals, but nothing was going as planned.

All he wanted to do was hold the boy again, tell him just how much he means to him and how he doesn't care that he's being played because Calum is just confused and has only ever known one love, and its not the falling type. It's so difficult to understand and maybe Michael never will get it, but he can only hope that Calum will understand why Michael doesn't get it like he does.

"Come here."

Calum didn't hesitate one bit. His eyes were still red and puffy, brimming with tears. His cheeks held stains, his face seeming to look paler than usual, his plump lips quivering, hair falling ever so slightly and his body trembling as he gently and awkwardly climbed back into Michaels arms.

"You know Michael, you're always going to be my best friend, no matter what. And I know you're in love with me and I'm still trying to figure out how that is even remotely possible."

"What?" Michael questioned softly as he pulled Calum closer to his chest, "how its possible to love you?"

"Mhm."

"Well lets just say that love is tough and we aren't always going to get what we want. Most of the time we don't know what we want, but I'm certain that what I want is you. You may be a complete asshole sometimes, but you're my asshole and I don't mean that figuratively for my butt or whatever. I mean it in general. You're the most precious thing, Calum. I can't help but fall in love with the way you laugh silently at some of the stupidest jokes and how your eyes crinkle at the same time. Or how you have an obsession with playing bass and making covers that nobody is ever going to hear. From the sounds of your singing voice to the way that you sound, its all so fucking beautiful and regardless of how you treat me, I'm always going to think of you as somebody I never want to let go of."

"I hope one day that I'll be able to say the same. And I'm sorry about throwing the sweater away - I wasn't thinking. But I promise you I'll wear it from now on, because you've just reminded me just how important you are to me and I love you for that."

-

Michael: I really want pancakes

Michael: and pizza with pineapple

Calum: u don't like pineapple??? U usually just get cheese

Michael: well that's true but I'm craving some weird shit RN