Down the Rabbit Hole |||Naruto AU|||

Scroll Nine

Kurai leads me to the Hokage's office as I continue to daydream about being tsukikage. Yes, I want to go home but I don't know how or when that'll be happening so.... So yeah, I might as well enjoy my time in the anime version of Naruto. Well, this far into the story? It would be Naruto Shippuden. Either way, I'm stuck here until I find a magickal scroll.

"Is something wrong, Anbā-kōhai?" Kurai asks, looking at me with a concerned expression.

"Not in the slightest," I quickly lie.

As we make our way through the building, I can't help but gawk and inwardly fangirl over the people that I see. Kurenai is exiting, for example, as we open the door to Tsunade's office and Shizune sounds like she's chastising her political leader. Curious, I peek my head inside the door before Kurai could get one of his feet into the room. The first thing that I see is a long pink ponytail and the back of a dark purple shirt. Squealing, I propel myself towards the kunoichi in front of Kakashi and glomp her. In my OC stories, she's the jōnin in charge of Ichiki Kuran's team. Orokana and Sunōenjeru are also on the team, but I don't see either of them. Miyukki, in Amsuke and/or Lizaara stories, is also in charge of the team with Nerī Hyūga and Anbā Uchiha.

"Anbā, you can release me now," she sweatdrops.

"Sensai, how are you?!?!" I hold on tighter.

"Oi, let her go already," a female voice groans.

Curious, I look up to see a boobed Sasuke. I'm instantly confused, but I try to hide it. Freeing my captive OC, I get to my feet and inspect his/her attire. The high ponytail and booty shorts assure me, if the breasts failed to do so, that this was a woman~ or that they were at least biologically female. I look at the design of the completely open shirt and the shorts, recalling how Sasuke dressed in the RTN movie. To top it all off is the same necklace, only with a pearled chain and the Uchiha crest looks like it's comprised of rubies and diamonds. There's even matching earrings in the lobes of this look-a-like's ears. She crosses her arms, threatening to undo the thinly wrapped bandages that cover her bosom~ I'd place her a C cup, probably a 36C or a 38C.

"I know that rainbows shooting out of arses is Nylan Cat's thing, but wow... You sound incredibly grumpy!" I poke at her face, using my hands to tug her lips into a smile.

"I will kill you if you touch me again," she growls, slapping my hands away with a glare.

"Sasuko, what are you- Oh, it's her.... Hello there, Anbā. Fancy meeting you here," a voice similar to Naruto's, only deeper and meaner, greets me.

I stand on my tippy toes to see past Sasuko's  hair, getting an eyeful of Menma Uzumaki.

"What are you two doing here?" I ask, dying to know.

"We, like Nerī and yourself, are jōnin. This is a meeting for kages and jōnin," Menma speaks slowly, like I'm an idiot.

"Be nice to my brother's wife, will ya? You seem to be forgetting about her Mind's Eye," Sasuke's voice chuckles.

My head snaps in the general direction, frightened to see two copies of Sasuke. One of them is wearing the open kimono shirt from the beginning of Shippuden and the other is wearing the sleeveless black shirt with bandages on his head. The second is also wearing a fire symbol ring on the hand he has on his kunai pouch, his right hand sporting an Uchiha crest one.

"Shut up, Charasuke," Menma rolls his eyes.

My head is spinning...

"How many Uchiha can fit in one room?" Tsunade rubs at her temples.

Like the idiot that I am, I actually start counting. Sasuke, Charasuke, Sasuko, and myself. That makes four. I hold up four fingers and tell the Hokage my answer. She facepalms hard enough for it leave a hopefully temporarily mark on her skull.

"How did she make it to jōnin?" Tsunade sighs, finally lowering her hand.

"She's an Uchiha," the other three Uchiha in the room say in unison.

Miyukki ruffles my hair once she stands, smiling slightly before quickly stepping away from me and closer to Kakashi. With a frown, I glare at the entire room. The waves of hate roll off of me just like they do in anime, which I guess makes sense since I'm stuck inside of one right now. Charasuke pokes Sasuke, gesturing towards me until I feel the irises of my eyes swirling as they expand to form the Sharingans.

"Don't piss me off anymore so than you've all already done, or I will kill a bitch," I warn.

Sasuke scoffs, rolling his eyes and approaching me. It's a staredown and I'm not known to win them, but I glare the deadliest death glare that I've ever mustered as he continues to strut towards me like a Japanese version of Adam Lambert~ minus the glitter, leather, makeup, and sexual preference. Without taking my eyes off of him, I reach inside the kunai pouch on my thigh and try to hook a knife around my searching finger tip. Seeing that I'm going for a weapon, he withdraws his katana from its sheath around his waist and points the blade straight at me. Gulping, I feel my determination wavering with the intense desire to not be run through with an animated sword. As I feel a bead of sweat roll down the side of my face, something catches my eye. It's a rolled up piece of parchment that Charasuke has tucked within one of his kunai pouches, on the side with the Uchiha ring. The dried scribble of a crimson crescent moon has my attention as the armed shinobi stalks towards me.

"Be civil and I won't have to kill my wife," Sasuke glares.

I straighten out of the defensive position that I don't remember assuming and keep my gaze on the scroll that may or may not be my ticket home.

"So, about this new village that you plan on starting?" Sasuko groans, crossing her arms again as she frowns towards Tsunade Senju.

The leader of the village launches into a descriptive explanation, one that manages to hold even Sasuke's attention. As much as I would love to stay and listen, I crouch and crawl towards the copy of Sasuke that isn't wearing sleeves. Charasuke doesn't seem to notice that I've opened his pouch, nor does he seem to acknowledge that I'm stealing his scroll. Quietly exiting the room, I sneak my way through the building until I make it to the entrance that will now serve as my exit as I silently slither along on my way. When I'm about half way to the Uchiha compound, I feel somebody tap me on the shoulder. Cursing beneath my breath, I turn to face whomever it is with the parchment clutched with a death grip in my overly sweaty palm.

"Yes?" I bite my lip as Gaara looks me over, appearing confused about something.

"Where is Nerī?" he asks.

As I open my mouth to explain that I have absolutely no idea, the paper starts glowing as it also warms up in my fisted palm. Squealing, I drop it and let it fall to the ground. It rolls open, the characters written on it with the same red ink used to draw the moon that had caught my attention. Quickly darting into a kneeling position, I try to reroll it so that it'll be sealed again as the glowing light brightens so much that it reminds me of the sun.

Of course, that's when shit hits the fan because these past few days haven't been shitty enough.